


one part coffee, two parts earth

by mangozaya



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, doyoungs crush on jaehyuk is subtle, jaehyuk vs comically large plants, jihyuk are chaotic roommates, please bear w my time skips, remember how this fic was supposed to be three chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangozaya/pseuds/mangozaya
Summary: It’s halfway through his academic term when Jaehyuk realizes he might have forgotten the very point of his botany class: to try and keep alive the succulent they were handed in their first week.With this realization, he’s about seven weeks overdue, and four minutes from a healthy mid-semester breakdown.
Relationships: Bang Yedam/Park Jihoon, Hamada Asahi/Yoon Jaehyuk
Comments: 52
Kudos: 105





	1. espresso shots and planter pots

**Author's Note:**

  * For [excorde (constant)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/constant/gifts).



> this fic has always been dedicated to d, whose excitement and kind encouragement is the reason this is seeing the light of day. truly, thank you for everything <3 i appreciate u so so much
> 
> to my lovely editor, u know who u are, thank you for the endless keyboard smashes of edits and love.

It takes a week’s time before Jaehyuk finally admits that Jihoon’s personalized Golden Rules of Agriculture might actually prove useful. Now Jaehyuk’s got a day before the semester, a stained notebook page that Jihoon wrote just for him, and very little time to fully commit the rules to memory; this is what Jaehyuk gathers:

First, he knows you shouldn’t question the introductory botany classes too much, as they “will prove important no matter the concentration you choose”. Jaehyuk hears this line in Jihoon’s university guide voice, because even months after interest tours have ended, Jihoon is still somehow stuck in character.

Second, no plants and associated materials in the main greenhouse are to be tampered with. There are important experiments going on, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself if a student staff angrily showers you in hose water.

Third, if you’re required to keep a plant alive for your semester project, you better start early. Supplies run out fast, and when students use cardboard in place of plastic pots, it never turns out well: Jihoon’s dozens of soggy mint plants can personally attest to this.

So, Jaehyuk takes careful note to follow Jihoon’s pointers.

He doesn’t complain when he’s forced to recall close to a hundred plants in the greenhouses--even though he’s tired and needs to finish his musical composition, he begrudgingly spends a few more hours in the gardens messily scribbling Latin names until his hand cramps. He doesn’t complain when he’s grouped with a few agriculture majors to keep a journal of how often they should rotate their plants to match the sun’s location--really this practice seems ridiculous, but then again he spent an hour rearranging his and Jihoon’s pantry the night before, so he isn’t the best judge on frivolous tasks.

Jihoon will protest that botany was _“one of my favorite classes!”_ , but Jaehyuk has a sneaking suspicion that Jihoon spent more time tongue-tied and glassy eyed at a particular _Yedam_ . Jaehyuk is a good friend, but even he can’t take months of _“you don’t understand, his favorite flower is the alba rose, that’s my favorite rose”_.

Somewhere between balancing his actual music composition major, Jihoon’s love-struck ramblings, and attempting to memorize the barrage of plant related flashcards he’s accumulated, Jaehyuk entirely forgets rules two and three of Jihoon’s teachings.

✿

It’s halfway through his academic term when Jaehyuk realizes he might have forgotten the very point of his botany class: to try and keep alive the succulent they were handed in their first week.

And with this realization, he’s about seven weeks overdue, and four minutes from a healthy mid-semester breakdown.

That’s exactly how Jihoon finds him that night, swaddled in their apartment’s warmest grey blanket, lying upside down on their shared couch, cheeks slightly flushed and head tingling in numbness from how long Jaehyuk has been stationary, his center of gravity being shifted on its axis for nearly an hour.

Jihoon stares, slowly retraces his steps back through the kitchen, and emerges not five minutes later with a large cup of peppermint tea and a sympathetic smile.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Jaehyuk goes to moodily shake his head, but winces immediately as blood rushes away from his forehead. He sits back up and exhales slowly, hissing at the headache forming behind his eyes and wiping at his dried tear tracks.

“I’m an idiot.”

Jihoon cracks a small smile. “I know bub, so let’s talk about it.”

Jaehyuk sighs and flops back onto the couch. “So my career is over.”

“It’s not, but continue.”

Jaehyuk presses on, insisting that he’s the worst agriculture student ever-- _Jaehyuk, you’re not even in the agriculture department_ \--that his plant is long gone and probably rotting underneath his bed--“truly a better home,” Jihoon mutters, for which he earns a knee to the thigh--and that he couldn’t possibly have done anything to deserve this-- _Hyuk, you ate my last slice of cake last week, I’m calling you on your shit_ \--and Jaehyuk finally snaps his mouth shut, frustration and embarrassment building together.

His voice is sharp. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”

“I am.” Jihoon hasn’t dropped his grin.

“Then stop replying like-” Jaehyuk eyebrows knit as he searches for the right words. He’s not above whining. “You’re supposed to agree with me!”

There’s no real heat behind Jaehyuk’s words, but his vision is getting a bit blurry. Four failed attempts at grabbing onto the handle of his cooling tea are enough for his frustration to bubble over.

He’s close to tears again, and Jihoon makes a small noise, clearly taking pity on Jaehyuk’s hunched form because he nudges Jaehyuk forward from the couch, slipping behind him with a small “move, dork” and shifting forward until his chest rests against Jaehyuk’s curved back. Jihoon kindly wraps his arms around his sulking roommate’s shoulders, and rests his chin comfortably on the expanse of Jaehyuk's shoulders.

“Hey, I’m sorry, yeah? I’m listening for real.”

Jaehyuk sniffles for dramatics, but melts back into Jihoon’s embrace, taking Jihoon’s pinky to fiddle with the small silver ring there.

“What if I just drop the class?”

“Drop period was last week,” Jihoon hums against Jaehyuk.

“So I’ll convert the class to pass or fail.”

“That was also last week.”

“Jihoon.”

Jihoon gives a quick squeeze to Jaehyuk’s shoulder in apology. “Sorry, sorry. Okay. We could find someone with a car? Buy you a pot somewhere? Or, I mean I guess I could ask Yedam if he knows anyone who might be able to-”

Jihoon clicks his tongue suddenly and loudly, startling Jaehyuk.

“The greenhouse! How could I forget, Yedam was just working there last week! He said some kid tried to pluck out the spikes from their barrel cacti, can you believe? The kid ended up with like, seven spikes in his arm, who even-”

“Jihoon!”

“Uhh, yeah. Well, they always have spare pots there, I think. But, remember what I said about the student workers?” Jihoon shudders in memory. “They’re crazy! They’ll just hose you down if you touch anything, well except Yedam, he’s an angel.”

Jihoon rambles on, something about the humidity of the greenhouse and how Yedam was _wearing the cutest cardigan, you don’t understand_ , but Jaehyuk is starting to doze off in Jihoon’s hold, exhausted.

“So I can just take a greenhouse pot?”

Jihoon tuts. “Did you not hear me? You’re going to literally get sprayed in the face.”

“I’d rather that than fail a class,” Jaehyuk shrugs.

“I don’t think you’re actually allowed to take the pots,” Jihoon grasps Jaehyuk’s upper arm, “No, seriously. I can’t bail you out.”

Eyes glancing at the clock, Jihoon finally detangles himself from Jaehyuk, gently ruffles through Jaehyuk's hair, and goes to get ready for bed, but not without eyeing Jaehyuk with a _seriously, don’t do the thing_ , but Jaehyuk is several miles away.

Getting the pot is his only real way to salvage his grade without taking unnecessary steps, and his mind had been made up since Jihoon mentioned the greenhouse. So when Jihoon comes back out for a goodnight, cleaning off the counter before he heads out, Jaehyuk’s honest. He’s going to try and snag a pot. Lying to Jihoon was near impossible anyway.

His roommate’s reaction is expected.

Jihoon stares a while before going back to wiping the kitchen counter, but not without a long suffering “I can’t believe I’m condoning this,” and a later, “I _really_ can’t believe I’m condoning this”.

✿

Jaehyuk finds himself at the doors of the desert based fauna greenhouse on a Saturday morning, ten minutes before they open the doors to the public, his lip half bitten in stress, coffee in one hand and a bagged drying succulent in another.

He’s entirely out of his element, and far too jittery for the task at hand. Three espresso shots might have been overkill.

Really, stealing a pot from the university’s greenhouse, potentially getting sprayed down by an angry staff in the process, and never hearing the end of Jihoon’s amusement should really have deterred Jaehyuk in the slightest, but he’s on autopilot, and his final grade is riding on this heist.

His operation goes something like this:

Two minutes in, and Jaehyuk has already trampled several vines. The back of the greenhouse is unruly; it’s probably been growing for years, untouched.

Ten minutes in, and Jaehyuk really wishes he didn’t hit the gym the night before, because his muscles are burning, and he’s been digging through overgrowth for far longer than he wants to.

Twenty minutes in, and the greenhouse grows more humid as Jaehyuk struggles with uprooting the monstrosity of a plant that’s latched onto the side of his chosen pot. The plant’s leaves are uncomfortably fuzzy and leave a strange residue when they brush against his arms, and while Jaehyuk doesn’t mind a little dirt, the sap is starting to itch, and he swears it’s bubbling up in the beads across his skin.

It’s rather concerning.

He tries again, gripping the root system with one hand and the pot with the other, and attempts to pry apart the two appendages, but his hold is unsteady and the pot teeters on the bench for a moment before hitting the ground with a large _thud_.

Jaehyuk’s head is swimming. The coffee is dehydrating, the heat stifling, and he’s minutes away from slumping against the windows and giving up entirely, but Jihoon’s face comes into view, and the inevitable _see? I really told you so_ is enough for Jaehyuk to grunt and extend an arm forward, fingers grasping at any leverage to hoist himself up once more.

He finds what he’s looking for--it’s strange, the warm part of a plant he thinks he’s grasping--and he finds that this plant is pulling him upwards, with surprising strength.

“Mutant plants, I swear.” Jaehyuk murmurs with his eyes closed, “Jihoon never said anything about this.”

Then Jaehyuk swears he hears a confused, “Huh?”

Jaehyuk’s eyes snap open. He’s slightly delirious and shaking from a caffeine rush, but this is one reality he knows how to separate in the haze of the greenhouse.

Plants don’t talk. Jaehyuk shrieks.

The _man_ in front of Jaehyuk jolts violently, and tugs on the large, tangled watering hose behind him, possibly to defend himself in surprise. Or just for something to hold. Jaehyuk isn’t entirely sure, and he doesn’t care to find out.

Jaehyuk stumbles away from the student worker before catching himself on rough bark, and darts behind the--is there just an entire tree in this greenhouse? what even _is_ this plant--broad leaves of a comically large tropical.

“Please don’t spray me!”

The face before him blinks.

He holds Jaehyuk’s gaze for a bit, searching for a hint of--anything really, a bit of sarcasm from the cowering student at the very least--but he seems to realize Jaehyuk is serious, and slowly shakes his head, stepping back directly into a squeamishly green algae puddle.

“I’d be fired if I spray you.”

Jaehyuk shrugs, but continues to shield himself behind the cartoonishly large leaves of the--palm tree? that can’t be right--towering plant. “That doesn’t stop everyone.”

“Right.”

The worker looks unimpressed. Maybe a little amused. Sunlight streams in through the planked window, from the skyline of the greenhouse above, layering everything in a pale glow. Jaehyuk’s admittedly wary, but he can appreciate how the light gently coats the boy’s left side, creating darker shades among the waves in his blonde hair.

Or maybe his vision is just muddled.

He’ll think about that one later.

For now, an introduction is long overdue.

His attempt is shaky. “I’m Jaehyuk. Like, that’s my name. I’m just-”, Jaehyuk raises his arm in a sweeping gesture, “-visiting. It’s a nice greenhouse, my friend told me to check it out, so here I am?”

“You’re visiting the storage?”

Jaehyuk scrunches his nose, half in embarrassment, half from the dust layering the air.

“I got lost?”

The opposing blond boy grows a bit impatient. “Are you asking _me_ if you’re lost?”

Jaehyuk winces; he’s clearly not doing a good job with his innocent act. It might be high time to cut his losses. He isn’t about to fool anyone, so he might as well come clean.

Somewhere across campus, Jihoon is probably proud.

Or laughing.

“I needed a pot.” Jaehyuk starts, while slowly bringing himself out from the trunk he’s positioned behind, gesturing at the upturned pot halfway between both boys, “and this was the only one I could find. The plant’s stuck inside, but it’s fine. I think.”

“Students aren’t allowed back here.”

“I know, but-” Jaehyuk takes a breath, “I didn’t know where else to find one. I really, really need this.” He’s been told his puppy eyes are near impossible to refuse, so he places his bets. “So, maybe we could--ah wait, sorry. What’s your name?”

The boy before Jaehyuk is less on guard now, the garden hose having been dropped a while back. He narrows his eyes, but not with ill intent.

Then he shrugs.

The worker’s stance is loose, and he leans himself against a wall coated in ivy. “Asahi.”

Before Jaehyuk can continue, Asahi pauses a moment to consider something. 

The worker fiddles with his sleeve, folds it back halfway up his forearm, and finishes with a simple addition. “Hamada Asahi.”

“Asahi,” his name rolls smooth off Jaehyuk’s tongue, “could we maybe keep this between us?”

Thing is, Jaehyuk knows he’s playing a risky hand here; he knows he’s taking an uninformed gamble. He’s placing down a few chips, and leaving the next play to Asahi.

Jaehyuk knows that Asahi has no reason to help him, not really.

Even so--despite Jaehyuk’s ramblings and half-truths, despite the floor of soil and disarray Jaehyuk has created--it’s in this small, humid expanse of a greenhouse, where Jaehyuk has had no one but the leaves to spill his frustrations to, that a pitying greenhouse worker chooses to grant Jaehyuk another round.

Asahi levels his gaze with Jaehyuk, and his voice comes out softly this time, a secret shared between them alone. “If anyone asks, I didn’t see you.”

Jaehyuk’s project might be salvageable after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡ expect future flustered asahi and pining jaehyuk. bonus: asahi will have some agriculture friends, try and guess who?


	2. wine drunk on the weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> asahi isn't sure how exactly jaehyuk managed to carve a space into his life, but he's thankful for every moment.

Asahi’s semester comes to a close right around the time that his floral Snowdrops open for their first winter bloom. The greenhouse is less humid in the winter months, and it’s a daily struggle to find all the cracks in the windows. Avoiding any cold air seeping in and icing the greenhouse has become his biggest priority.

His manager leaves him with rusty keys and a blunt,  _ I’m trusting you. When I come back next semester, I expect to see everything in order. _

Asahi only barely avoids an eyeroll.

Campus is a bit lonely. He’s got Yedam to grab a coffee with occasionally, but Yedam only commutes up every other week to tend to their floral collection; because Asahi personally works four days a week, he could probably just move into the greenhouse at this point.

It’s in this sluggish winter break routine that Asahi wishes something like his past semester’s surreal experience would entertain his work shifts.

He wonders what happened to that boy, sometimes.

Though awkward in the moment, it’s incredibly amusing in hindsight. He recounted the experience to Hyunsuk and Mashisho no less than a dozen times, at their request. Hyunsuk has placed his bets on ‘Jaehyuk’ ultimately failing to properly raise the plant altogether, but Mashiho was a bit more sympathetic and gave Jaehyuk three weeks before the plant would wilt.

_ He isn’t actually an agri major _ , Hyunsuk defends himself,  _ no shade, really, but he literally forgot the plant under his bed, so _ . Asahi hasn’t quite formed his own opinion yet.

On this particular morning, less than a week into winter break, the campus is near deserted, and his trudge over to the only open campus cafe feels longer than usual. Maybe he’s more lonely than he realizes.

There’s no line this morning, only a few students scattered amongst the tables in the cafe, and Asahi’s easy order of a small black coffee offers the worker something to do. He nods once as his order rings up, and pauses to scan his clearing for a quiet spot. He’s got a half hour before he needs to be across campus to open the greenhouse, so he can afford some time to quietly sip his coffee while scrolling on his phone. He heads to the back of the cafe.

He blinks.

_ Wait, is it-? _

His eyes settle on a dozing student half shrouded in the shadow of a large Monstera--Asahi is half convinced that the cafe has failed to water the plant in weeks; he’s half alarmed--and he pauses.

The mystery boy from last semester is seated before him, and he doesn’t want to walk away just yet.

Asahi thinks a part of this is rooted in curiosity. He doesn’t really have a reason to talk to Jaehyuk-- _ right, that was his name _ \--but, a small part of him wants to report the condition of Jaehyuk’s plant to Hyunsuk and Mashiho. Another part of him genuinely wants to talk to Jaehyuk again: the boy was rather charming if a little frazzled during their encounter, and he left the greenhouse with both a cheery wave and a blinding smile. It was a little dizzying.

The largest part of him is just lonely, though. The prospect of being alone the next two months is starting to weigh on Asahi, and he wonders if he’s allowed to interrupt Jaehyuk. He thinks back to his friends at home.

Mashisho would have gently swiped him upside the head as a way to imply an “ _ Asahi, trust in your judgement, yeah?” _

It’s surprisingly all the motivation he needs. He quietly walks up to Jaehyuk and leans down a bit, close enough to catch a glint of sunlight on Jaehyuk’s small studded earrings.

“Excuse me?”

Jaehyuk doesn’t stir, his head barely balanced on his bent wrist. His coffee looks discolored as the melting ice mixes in with the rest of the drink. Asahi tries to piece out what subject the boy seems to be working on, but the table is covered in calculus homework, a textbook in a foreign language, and sheets of musical notes.

Asahi takes a breath, and tries again.

“Jaehyuk?”

At this, Jaehyuk startles.

His eyes turn blearily to stare at Asahi, his hand falling and jolting dangerously close to his cup of coffee, and several seconds pass. Asahi stares back, a bit unnerved. Jaehyuk’s eyes narrow to focus on Asahi’s face.

“Holy shit.” Jaehyuk immediately slaps a hand on his mouth, a bit frantic. “No, wait.”

Asahi saves Jaehyuk any explanation. He raises an eyebrow and gestures to the chair across Jaehyuk. “This free?”

Jaehyuk nods slowly, a bit less sleep clouding his eyes, and leans forward to pull some loose papers back over to his side. “Yes, yeah of course. Here.”

Asahi slides into the chair and places his bag by his feet, removing a notebook and opening it as he works up some effort to entertain a conversation with a near stranger.

“Why are you here?” Asahi’s question comes a bit more blunt than he intended. He softens his tone. “Are you taking a class over break?’ He refers to the scattered papers still taking up most of the table.

“I am.” Jaehyuk nods a little awkwardly at their seating space. “Trying to get calculus out of the way, and classes over break are supposed to be easier, so-” Jaehyuk trails off and rubs his neck a bit, “-but I’m a little rough at math.”

Asahi cracks a sympathetic smile; he’s actually half decent at math, but from the pages of jumbled numbers and scratched out equations, Asahi can assume that Jaehyuk’s been more than frustrated.

Asahi nods, “Break classes are easier, I took some last winter.”

“What about you then?” Jaehyuk pauses to think, “Do they even hold agriculture classes in the winter?”

“Ah, actually I’m working. I’m at the greenhouse for the next two months.”

At the mention of the greenhouse, Jaehyuk visibility flushes.

“Right, yeah that makes sense.”

Jaehyuk chews on his lip, clicking his pen against the side of his thigh and fades off into a bit of an awkward silence. Asahi resists sipping his cooling coffee, and tries to not let the atmosphere psyche him out.

“Can I ask what happened to your semester project?”

At this, Jaehyuk straightens his back and folds his hands under his thighs. He looks a bit sheepish. “You kind of saved my grade there with letting me borrow--well, take I guess-- the pot. Seriously, thank you.” Jaehyuk doesn’t move from his position, but he looks like he wants to say more. Asahi waits.

“That was really cool of you, you know. When you-” Jaehyuk takes a hand and waves it in no particular direction, “-you helped me out, I really didn’t think I’d be able to keep the plant alive, but my roommate reminded me to water her a couple of times--he named her Dami, that’s wasn’t me--and well I guess, it worked out? I mean I ended with a B, but I’m happy with it, uh.” Jaehyuk trails off a bit, realizing he’s been rambling.

Asahi is mildly endeared by Jaehyuk, honestly, but there’s just one thing holding him back from wanting to continue this conversation fully.

He realizes that Jaehyuk probably forgot his name. He’d like to pretend it doesn’t matter, but it stings a little.

“Well, I’m glad I could help. We don’t really use the extra pots in the back, so it’s fine.” Asahi’s aware he’s being a bit clipped, but his mood has dampened slightly. His shift starts soon anyway, maybe it was time to quit while he was ahead.

“Hey,” Jaehyuk tilts his head up at Asahi’s voice, “I have to head out now, but I’m glad your project worked out.”

“Oh! Okay, yeah, it was nice seeing you again.”

Asahi moves to leave quickly. Gathering up his coffee in one hand and a notebook in another, he gives a half-hearted wave with a few fingers, and Jaehyuk raises a hand in return.

He knows it’s not entirely fair to be upset with Jaehyuk for not remembering his name from half a semester ago, but Asahi has spent the last week entirely alone. It didn’t matter, he reasoned, the campus was home to thousands of students, and Jaehyuk was just another passing face. One chance encounter in a greenhouse shouldn’t mean anything, but Junkyu--Asahi’s perceptive Psychology roommate from first year--did always note that Asahi was good at lying to himself.

“Asahi?”

Asahi swings around, catching himself before he stumbles.  _ Huh? _

So, Jaehyuk did remember his name after all.

Asahi feels a bit guilty, but there’s a new warmth not from the coffee he’s holding.

Jaehyuk is tugging on his ear, and meets Asahi’s gaze a little shyly. “Would you want to maybe do this again?” He gestures to his coffee cup, which is now primarily just melted ice. “Coffee? Or hot chocolate- anything.” Jaehyuk breaks off a little awkwardly, but gives a small laugh, “Now that I know I’m not the only one here.”

Something small blooms in Asahi’s chest. He smiles back and holds out his hand.

“Yeah, let me give you my number.”

✿

It only takes knowing Jaehyuk for a few weeks before Asahi wonders where such a person has been all his life.

That’s a bit dramatic. Maybe just where such a person has been all of college.

Jaehyuk is somehow a little bit of  _ everything _ .

They go from tentative morning coffee and waiting for the other to text an initial ‘ _ there’s a new latte on the menu’ _ to daily lunch breaks and Jaehyuk’s random text musings of  _ ‘i didn’t know squirrels were so aggressive abt their acorns’ _ . Asahi’s never had to leave his phone notifications on before, but he makes an exception for the first time. On the rare days that Yedam is working a shift alongside him, he threatens to spray Yedam unless he let’s go of teasing over Asahi’s increased texting. When Asahi points out that Yedam seems to have his own boy that he’s replying to, Yedam raises an eyebrow and responds with a smug, “At least I admit to it, what’s stopping you?”

Texting is one thing, but being with Jaehyuk is another altogether.

Jaehyuk starts bringing his homework into the greenhouse, accompanying Asahi’s work shifts. Asahi will sweep around Jaehyuk’s dangling feet from where he’s perched on a soil bench, and Jaehyuk has once or twice playfully swiped at Asahi’s broom in hand. When winter starts settling in with the first drifts of snow, Jaehyuk’s trips become no less frequent despite the icy conditions near the greenhouse. Jaehyuk will simply shift snow from his shoulders as he steps in to greet Asahi, warming himself in the temperature controlled space. Jaehyuk’s presence in Asahi’s greenhouse is starting to feel like more of a permanent fixture, like that of the phlox ivy winding around the windows, or the desert cacti that nestle in their heating chambers.

For the height that Jaehyuk has on Asahi, Jaehyuk manages to nestle himself into small spaces among the plants that Asahi carefully tends to. Asahi marvels at how small he manages to appear sometimes, eraser tapping his lips as he works through calculus, eyes flashing into a smile everytime Asahi wanders close, or when Asahi catches himself staring at Jaehyuk for a little too long.

It’s almost disorienting, Asahi thinks, on how quickly Jaehyuk fits into his winter break routine as effortlessly as Asahi’s morning coffee or daily fertilizer treatments.

They start straying from the greenhouse, wandering around campus and stopping occasionally when Jaehyuk wants to watch a campus groundhog or point out every tree species on campus to inquire about it’s name.  _ It’s cute _ , Asahi admits, on how Jaehyuk almost expects Asahi to know every plant name in existence.

Though, Asahi has to brag that he’s pretty well versed.

Walks around campus turn into weekend strolls, dinner plans for one now include Jaehyuk instead picking up an order for them both. Hands catching a minor skid on the ice for the other turns into Jaehyuk enthusiastically grabbing Ashi’s forearm everytime they set out across campus. Asahi was startled at first, and had stiffened the first time Jaehyuk reached for his arm, but he relaxed not a moment later. Now he offers up a forearm even before Jaehyuk has a chance to sneakily link their arms.

Something about Jaehyuk is comfortable. Warm even when the weather is harsh and unyielding. Asahi’s even close to admitting that Jaehyuk’s rants about calculus being useless because ‘ _ I’m a music major? What do I even need this for?’  _ are some of his fondest moments of watching Jaehyuk, comically animated and  _ alive _ .

Asahi wasn’t  _ not _ an affectionate person, but where Hyunsuk and Mashiho--and most of his college friends for that matter--had built up their relationships with Asahi slowly before ever slinging an arm around his neck, Jaehyuk seemingly came out of nowhere to gently settle in a space that Asahi was surprisingly comfortable with.

They reach winter’s first major snowfall a month and a half into break, and Jaehyuk’s ringtone--Asahi might have personalized it, but he’ll deny it vehemently when Yedam asks--startles Asahi out of sleep on a Saturday morning.

Hours later, they trudge through snow to reach their campus’s notorious sledding ground, and Asahi will remember Jaehyuk’s elated shriek and steady grip around his waist as they speed down the icy incline. Jaehyuk fitfully giggles for a long time. Asahi can admit to doing the same.

Later, Jaehyuk collapses half on Asahi, hiking his heel into the snow, and gently rolls until he’s facing the blonde boy whose dyed hair has started showing its roots, who is laid out on the snow in a similar fashion. Jaehyuk’s gloves are thick and offer no dexterity, but he gently places his fingers near Asahi’s own, and breaths out slowly, lips chapped from the cold, cheeks red with burn, and smiles as wide as Asahi has always known.

If Asahi trails his fingers closer to Jaehyuk’s, that’s for them to know.

✿

Jaehyuk’s got a bucket list--a fact so terribly endearing that Asahi has to bite his lip from saying something stupid like ‘ _ that’s really adorable, you know that?’ _ \--and one of them is marathoning all the Harry Potter movies in one sitting.

Asahi thinks he’s an idiot for agreeing to this, but Jaehyuk pulls out a winning pout and latches onto Asahi’s neck in a hug so tight that Asahi has no other choice but to agree with such madness of a plan.

His night is a little hazy, but he knows that as they flash forward to starting the Half-Blood Prince, Jaehyuk is dangerously balancing his third glass of wine between his wrists as Asahi is comfortably positioned more on Jaehyuk’s thigh than the couch itself. Jaehyuk had had a shot of something else earlier, but Asahi can’t be sure what else Jaehyuk was drinking. Takeout containers are strewn across Jaehyuk’s living room, but neither of them care to pick up, both fully immersed in nonsense spells while tangled up in each other.

Lately, Asahi finds himself close enough to count Jaehyuk’s lashes more times than he realizes; he finds himself actively seeking out ways to catch Jaehyuk off guard for a startled laugh that causes Jaehyuk’s eyes glimmer like the sun as it shines to glisten untouched snow. These are for  _ him _ to hold close to his heart.

Asahi doesn’t notice himself drifting off until a hand gently comes to cup his cheek, thumb catching a sleep tear as Asahi yawns widely.

“Bedtime?” Jaehyuk sounds amused, but he sounds too far away for Asahi to respond. Asahi nods against Jaehyuk’s shoulder, and pushes his nose further into Jaehyuk’s chest.

“Take me, ‘m tired.”

Jaehyuk might be a little more drunk than he lets on, because as soon as he gently shuffles out from Asahi’s hold, he stumbles and braces himself on the couch. “Sahi, I might be too-” Jaehyuk almost falls again, and pokes his tongue out. “Might need you for this one.”

Even when bordering on tipsy, Asahi is a bit amused that he remains  _ the  _ sober friend.

Asahi has slept over before also, but he’s mainly crashed on the sofa while Jaehyuk falls asleep at the coffee table, face stained with ink from homework the next morning. Once, he got Jaehyuk into his bed after an earlier weekend of also being wine drunk, but Asahi had once again found his way to the couch and remained there for the night.

Tonight shouldn’t be any different.

Asahi lifts Jaehyuk up, looping one arm around his own shoulders and the other around Jaehyuk’s waist. Grunting in slight effort, he slowly walks them both to Jaehyuk’s bedroom, a faint hallway light to guide their path. They barely avoid bumping into Jaehyuk’s bedside table as Jaehyuk ungracefully flops into bed, immediately curling around a large stuffed bear--actually, Asahi isn’t entirely sure what stuffed animal it is this time--before humming and turning to face Asahi.

Asahi can’t read Jaehyuk’s expression, as his vision is slightly blurry, but Jaehyuk’s soft ‘ _ Sahi _ ’ sends a slight shiver up his spine.

“Hmm?”

“Could you-” Jaehyuk breaks off to yawn, reaching down blindly to bring up his comforter. Asahi steps forward to help. “-sleep here tonight? I’m cold.”

Oh.

Asahi’s hands still, no longer attempting to pull the blanket up to Jaehyuk’s chin, and he blinks a few times, trying to clear his vision. “Huh.”

He’s really trying to give Jaehyuk more to work with, but apparently he’s only capable of monosyllabic words right now.

“‘m cold. You should sleep here.” Jaehyuk’s nothing but an honest drunk. “Please?”

Fuck it. Asahi’s letting himself be selfish for once.

Asahi slowly exhales. Nods to no one, as Jaehyuk’s eyes are closed. “Yeah, yeah one moment. I want- I’ll go brush.”

Jaehyuk hums in what might be approval, and reaches out to ruffle Asahi’s hair, missing twice but grasping Asahi’s hair gently the third time.

Asahi’s chest is tight, but he doesn’t feel nausea. Instead, his body is light, heart even lighter.

He could keep lying to himself, but he has a faint idea of what this all means.

Jaehyuk is blind to Asahi’s slight internal panic. “Hurry back, Sahi.”

And with that, Jaehyuk drifts off a bit.

Carefully stepping from Jaehyuk’s room, Asahi treads lightly into the bathroom, eyes bleary, but he manages a stinging swing of mouthwash, ungracefully dropping the cap no less than four times. The sink stone is cold where his stomach is pressed up against it, and he squints at himself in the mirror.

_ What do you think you're doing? _ he wants to ask himself, but his reflection doesn’t answer him. It doesn’t matter anyway, because Asahi is starting to shiver, and reaching Jaehyuk’s room will offer him warmth.

Asahi stifles a yawn as he shuffles quietly down the hall, his mind on a drunken autopilot, arms grasping at any surface to maintain balance. If he trips over his feet and bumps into the same door frame twice, no one is around to say anything.

Stepping into the room, his eyes adjust to a blanket bunched up on the bed, and he smiles softly. He takes another step, switches on the lamp at the bedside; his eyes only sting momentarily.

The blanket shuffles around before a head pops out to reveal a disheveled Jaehyuk, still wine drunk and grinning, his eyes forming familiar crescents, making Asahi’s heart stutter. Or his breath catch. The details are rather hazy. Between Jaehyuk’s smile and Asahi’s--was it four? five? he can’t remember--glasses of wine, Asahi was willing to give his brain a pass when it came to processing correctly. Then Jaehyuk shuffles forward on the bed, reaches out with both hands, and whines softly.

Asahi’s brain decides it’s Jaehyuk that’s leaving him in a daze, wine be damned.

Asahi carefully--really more of an ungraceful topple, but again, no one is around to tease him--lowers himself down next to the space Jaehyuk has left, to immediately find himself wrapped up in an almost sickly sweet strawberry scent. Asahi tucks himself further into Jaehyuk’s side.

“Strawberry vodka?” he murmurs to Jaehyuk softly.

Jaehyuk hums a confirmation. He pauses to mumble against Asahi’s neck softly, “told you I was cold.”

Asahi huffs, curling his arm around Jaehyuk and shifting to get comfortable. He mindlessly drags his nails to draw semi circles against Jaehyuk’s hip, eyes closing. “This is an excuse to cuddle, isn’t it.”

It’s a statement; Asahi doesn’t know what he would do with an actual answer. He’s teasing of course, his buzz is coming down, yet still offering him more confidence than he probably feels, until Jaehyuk breathes a quiet “yeah, it was” against him, and Asahi is quickly realizing he’s no match for a clingy,  _ truthful _ Jaehyuk.

Jaehyuk’s slight shifting of weight makes Asahi aware of his ongoing circles now into Jaehyuk’s thigh, and Asahi flushes to a dark room.

“Oh,” he says intelligently, “you could’ve just asked.” But, he’s given no response, and he’s left listening to Jaehyuk’s breath evening out for several minutes afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i managed another chapter before my classes start next week <3 did you catch the name that jihoon gave jaehyuk's plant?
> 
> [twt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangozaya)


	3. morning pancakes and jasmine

They don’t talk about last night.

Jaehyuk can’t say he’s not a little disappointed. He supposes they wouldn’t have much to talk about anyway.

It’s not like they can exactly talk about how Jaehyuk wakes up wrapped in Asahi’s hold--Jaehyuk was groggy, head numb with a slight headache, but far too warm and comfortable to detangle--to the blinding of the sun, neither of them remembering to close the shades the night before. He isn’t sure how they should navigate the slow start to the day, the way Asahi murmurs in his sleep, scrunches his nose in response to being gently shaken awake, his hair a mess against the pillow; Jaehyuk aches to tuck a strand behind Asahi’s ear and run his thumb softly against Asahi’s cheekbone, so he does. Jaehyuk won’t think about Asahi’s pinky finger, still curled with his own, still linked as they shuffle out of bed, unless he wants his heart beating faster than it already is.

He doesn’t think about anything for too long, and their morning passes rather quickly.

Jaehyuk lazily spreads a thinner than expected pancake batter onto the crackling oil of the pan, and waits for Asahi to finish his shower before plating breakfast properly.

It’s more endearing than anything, how Asahi can’t meet his eyes for most of breakfast. At first, Jaehyuk is almost positive that Asahi is just not a morning person, that Asahi’s sluggish movements and uncoordinated syrup pour were all a product of being a night owl. He would have thought so, but as he directs a sunny smile over to where Asahi is scraping his plate, Asahi meets his gaze in return, a gentle blush staining his neck and the tips of his ear.  _ Interesting _ .

Jaehyuk startles as Asahi suddenly drops his fork, and it clatters against the kitchen table.

Asahi’s small ‘ _ fuck’ _ is low, mostly under his breath, but Jaehyuk catches it anyway and tries to hide his amusement behind a hand. Monday, 8:37am. Asahi is definitely going to be late to opening the greenhouse, and the boy knows as much, because Asahi is suddenly scrambling from the table to grab his bag, haphazardly trying to balance the empty plate of pancakes against his elbow to presumably throw in the sink.

“Leave it, get to the greenhouse.” Jaehyuk’s eyes crinkle as he reaches forward to grab the plate instead, and place it back on the table, “I’ve got it, I don’t have class until the afternoon anyway.”

Asahi is busy tightening the straps of his bag, and nods gratefully. Jaehyuk stands to accompany him to the door, ushering Asahi to walk as he works to tighten the other strap of his backpack. 

“I’ll see you around dinner then, same place? The greenhouse closes early today.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Jaehyuk watches as Asahi steps through the door frame and goes to turn around, but not before Jaehyuk closes his hand around Asahi’s wrist with a quick  _ “Wait.” _

Asahi looks up expectantly, foot tapping unconsciously in his haste, but his attention is directed fully to Jaehyuk. The bus that Asahi takes to the greenhouse comes in 5 minutes, so Jaehyuk has to make this quick.

“Listen, I know you said I don’t need to thank you-- you know, for hanging out with me and everything--”

Asahi goes to make a noise, Jaehyuk gently takes his hand instead.

“--but thank you. Seriously. Last night was really fun, even if we didn’t finish all the movies.” Asahi gives a short huff at that. “And I got kinda drunk there, so thank you for bringing me to- putting me to sleep.”

Asahi runs a thumb along Jaehyuk’s wrist, tracking the lines that stretch across his palm, and doesn’t look up for a bit. Jaehyuk uses the silence to keep going.

“You know, when Jihoon left for the semester, I thought I’d be alone for three months. I really just planned to just sit in my apartment for all of winter.” Asahi hums; Jaehyuk gives a small smile. “But, there you were! I kind of didn’t believe it, but then you sat down next to me and I got really- I don’t know, I’m just really happy. Honestly.”

Asahi still doesn’t look Jaehyuk in the eye. Jaehyuk hurries to end his near-speech.

“Okay well, that’s all.” Jaehyuk rubs the back of his neck as he continues, “I know you have to go to work so I’m shutting up now, but yeah. I just wanted to say that, before I forgot or something.”

Asahi doesn’t move, hand stilling, loosely enclosed around Jaehyuk’s wrist.

He’s still in the frame of the door, eyes flitting finally to Jaehyuk’s own sincere ones, and Asahi opens his mouth a few times, but no words come out. Jaehyuk waits patiently--he knows that Asahi is trying to form a thought, but can’t properly express it without pause--so he raises an arm to place on Asahi’s shoulder, to tell him “ _ it’s okay if you don’t answer, I just wanted to let you know” _ , before a gentle  _ thump _ takes the space before his chest, arms wrapping around Jaehyuk’s waist securely.

Asahi grips him tighter for a second, nestles into Jaehyuk’s chest for a moment, and exhales slowly. Jaehyuk brings his own arms up to encircle Asahi, and gently grips Asahi back. He’s a bit overwhelmed; it’s not often that Asahi initiates any skinship, save for the occasional excited tug on Jaehyuk’s sleeve or a gentle cuff against the ear when Jaehyuk goes to meddle with a growing indoor plant.

Jaehyuk goes to say, well  _ anything _ really, but Asahi jolts in the hug suddenly, and goes to shuffle backwards, even though he seems to be unwilling to leave just yet. Asahi’s lingering grasp on Jaehyuk’s hand says as much.

“Sahi?”

“I- the bus. I need to grab the bus.”

Jaehyuk doesn’t need Asahi to say anything, he gets it. He gently takes his hand back from where Asahi has kept it in his hold. “I’ll see you for dinner then, it’s on me tonight.”

Asahi chews on the corner of his lip, but settles for a nod, and takes off a little quickly--out of embarrassment or to make it to the bus stop in time, Jaehyuk doesn’t know.

Jaehyuk goes back to the kitchen to cleans up their plates, feeling a giddy sort of  _ contentment  _ the entire time he scrubs down the dishes, throwing Jihoon on facetime about halfway through cleaning the apartment; Jihoon’s delighted with Jaehyuk’s “romantic” speech. Jaehyuk flushes a deep red and argues against that particular word _. _

He hangs up the call eventually, bidding Jihoon with a ‘ _ I swear if you keep talking about this, I’ll go straight to Yedam’ _ before he collapses on his couch and goes to turn on his side, pulling the screen down to check his other notifications.

There’s one unread message, and Jaehyuk notes the way his heart picks up when he sees the name flashing on the display. He swipes to read it.

_ Sahi  _ ♡ : the winter jasmine finally bloomed, here

_ Sahi  _ ♡ : [image attached]

Jaehyuk draws in a breath and opens the attachment; Asahi’s face is half visible in the afternoon greenhouse shade, but Asahi’s smile is visible nonetheless, and he’s flashing a peace sign next to a planter box full of glittering yellow jasmine flowers, freshly misted from a recent watering. Jaehyuk shuts off his phone and holds it against his chest, closing his eyes.

This doesn’t mean _anything_ , right?

Jaehyuk's running out of rationals. It's getting harder to ignore the light touches when it’s late at night and Jaehyuk is starting to doze off on Asahi’s shoulder, unplanned afternoon strolls through the campus grounds, the drive-through theater that Jaehyuk excitedly dragged Asahi along for even in the middle of the winter. Asahi’s allowed Jaehyuk to find a space in his life and take more and more as the weeks go on; he meets Jaehyuk’s gentle gazes with those of his own; Jaehyuk circles Asahi like only the stars could circle the sun, gently orbiting closer and closer-

Jaehyuk’s really been kidding himself all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a super short chapter as an apology for slow updates from now on ♡ my semester started today so i wanted to post before things got too busy ♡ there's going to be a lot of cute group dynamics coming up ♡


	4. newfound family

With winter finals behind them and the new semester blooming on campus, Jihoon’s arrival is a needed reminder of the rush of a new year, leaving Jaehyuk and Asahi terribly disoriented when Jihoon whirls back into the apartment with a truly worrying _clang_ of glass and the rustling of no less than seven grocery bags, unannounced and unapologetic in shoving himself between Jaehyuk and Asahi, wrapping an arm around both of them, both of whom had been dozing off on the couch undisturbed for several hours.

“You promised me you’d help me unload, and look where you were instead.” Jihoon _tsks_ Jaehyuk, and with no time between crashing the couch and jumping back up, Jihoon begins tugging Jaehyuk into the kitchen. Jihoon turns back to Asahi with an animated, “You can keep your seat, I’ll return Hyukkie to you in just a moment.”

Jaehyuk leaves a startled Asahi on the couch with an apologetic grin and a quick mouthed, _I can’t stop him_ , and strides into the kitchen to help unpack. As Jaehyuk is attempting to shove a larger-than-necessary bulk of potatoes into the corner shelf of the fridge--Jihoon himself is bouncing around the freezer to tetris packs of frozen chicken into their places--Jaehyuk’s phone vibrates from his pocket, and he reaches down to slide his thumb across the screen:

Sahi ♡ : your roommate is jihoon

Me: ?? u know this tho

Sahi ♡ : but hes THE jihoon? yedams jihoon?

Me: what other jihoon did u think he was

Me: y are u texting me come here

Sahi ♡ : your couch is too comfortable

Sahi ♡ : but does yedam know this?

Me: i think so ?? hes facetimed in and seen me i think ??

Sahi ♡ : does everyone know this except me

Me: this isnt a secret !! i thought u knew 😭😭

A clunk from the fridge startles Jaehyuk from his phone, and he looks up to Jihoon settling the last of their food into a high cabinet, balancing on a step stool and far too at ease for the weight of the rice bag.

“So, I didn’t realize your boy was going to be here.” Jihoon teases as he steps on the counter itself, attempting to push the rice further into the cabinet.

Jaehyuk doesn't acknowledge Jihoon's quip, but doesn't argue it either. “You didn’t tell me when you were coming, I’d have helped you unload your things from the car. Who dropped you off anyway?”

“Yedam.”

“What.”

Jihoon jumps to the ground from the stool and quickly raises his hands to backtrack, “He was in the area! His roommate has the car for the weekend. He offered, and I wasn’t just going to say _no_.”

“Right, right.” Jaehyuk parrots himself as they track back into the living room, where Asahi remains slumped into the couch. He lazily raises a hand in greeting and Jaehyuk settles back beside him, with Jihoon taking the single seater in the room and clasping his hands together, hooking his arms around one knee. It seems like an interrogation, so Jaehyuk braces himself a bit, expecting to defend against an insinuating comment or a Jihoon branded smirk.

Instead, Jihoon surprises him. “Hyuk tells me you’ve been keeping Dami alive.”

Asahi straightens his back but remains wedged in the couch, and nods. “It’s not a big deal, I just water her every few days.”

“I’m not _that_ bad.” Jaehyuk protests, but even Asahi hides his smirk.

“You left your bagged succulent under your bed for seven weeks.” Jihoon counters.

“Please don’t remind me.”

“When we were seven, you made me a birthday cake out of sand and ate a slice.”

“ _Jihoon_.”

“What!” Jihoon smiles innocently, “I thought we were just pulling out all our dirt on you.” Jihoon blows a raspberry in Jaehyuk’s direction and settles back into the couch, now aiming his attention on Asahi.

“Now that I have you here Asahi, I have some questions for you.”

Asahi nods slowly, and gestures for Jihoon to keep going. Jaehyuk wants a strong cup of tea.

“You work at the greenhouse, right? I want to ask Yedam out for coffee, and you might have some idea of what he likes.”

Jaehyuk blinks. “That’s what you wanted to ask him.” It’s a statement, and Jaehyuk is fondly exasperated at this point. “After you made me swear I’d never tell a soul about Yedam?”

“I didn’t mean ‘don’t tell Asahi’, he barely counts-” Jihoon makes a sweeping gesture towards Asahi, who raises an eyebrow unimpressed, “-like, not like that. I mean, look at him. That’s a man who would take this information to his grave.”

“It’s not much of a secret,” Jaehyuk retorts.

“No one knows but you.”

“I think everyone knows at this point. Your phone doesn’t have a password, I can literally see all your texts from the screen.”

“That’s illegal.”

“You’re just an idiot.”

Asahi takes his first opportunity to cut off the squabbling roommates with a fact of his own. “Yedam doesn’t have a phone password either.”

Jihoon’s eyes snap up to meet Asahi. “He- what now.”

“His phone, he’s got no password either. I don’t snoop through it though.” Asahi bumps Jaehyuk’s shoulders to tease the other. “He reads your texts to me when we have the same shift. You’re kind of funny, sometimes.”

No sooner than Jaehyuk has time to laugh, Jihoon scrabbles into Asahi’s space and goes to grab Asahi’s shoulders, before thinking better of it and instead grabbing Jaehyuk’s forearm and looking pleadingly at Asahi. “I will literally sell you my Jaehyuk for more information.”

“ _Your_ Jaehyuk?” Jaehyuk sputters before turning to Asahi for help, but Asahi looks a little pink and rolls his eyes.

“You could just ask, I’m willing to expose Yedam-- well, kind of, depends on what you want to know.”

Jihoon tightens his hold on Jaehyuk in anticipation for answers and starts to fire off rapid questions; Asahi’s amazement only grows with the number of syllables Jihoon manages to spit out at once.

“-does he like creamer in his coffee, how many sugars, I can’t fuck with people who drink black coffee, but for him I can make an exception, though don’t remind me about Jaehyuk’s phase where he only drank black coffee because I haven’t gotten over that one just yet, but the cafe you both met at? What if I took him there? Is he ready for that, a date? Can I take him on a date?”

Jihoon only breathes to evaluate his statement, and this sends him panicking. “What if he doesn’t like me? Oh _fuck_ , what if I ask him on a date and it ruins everything we have, because I want to date him, but also I wouldn’t give up this friendship for anything really, he’s just the sweetest? He’s actually the best, I can’t lose that-”

Jaehyuk has been inching forward the entire time Jihoon’s conscious spills into their living room, and suddenly Jihoon finds himself cut off and enveloped in a hug, with Asahi’s hand placed gently on his shoulder.

Asahi’s eyes have softened, and he gifts Jihoon with a simple, “He likes you. Don’t overthink this.”

Jihoon slumps into Jaehyuk and slowly exhales, “Okay. Okay I’m trusting you here.”

“Wait, it was that easy?” Jaehyuk asks, slightly offended. “I’ve been telling you for a semester now that he likes you?”

“Right, but when Asahi says it, I believe it. He’s convincing.”

“I’ll literally fight you.”

“Try me. I’ve hit the gym this winter-”

“Jaehyuk.” Asahi sounds again, cutting off the roommates once more. Jihoon removes his hand from where he’d been squishing Jaehyuk’s cheeks in an attempt to win the argument, and Jaehyuk turns to give Asahi a sheepish smile. “Sorry, yeah?”

“I’m supposed to meet Hyunsuk in a half hour, I’m going to start heading over to his apartment. Do you remember if I left my bag in your room?”

Jihoon pops up from where he’s resting his head on the couch by Jaehyuk’s feet. “Hyunsuk? Agriculture Hyunsuk?”

“Choi Hyunsuk?”

“Damn, it’s a small world.”

Jaehyuk looks between his friends. “There’s like, forty agriculture students on campus Jihoon, you’re probably going to know everyone in your major.”

Jihoon ignores Jaehyuk to instead prompt Asahi. “You should totally bring Hyunsuk here next time, if you want. I want more agricultural friends, and Jaehyuk makes a _tragic_ plant owner.”

✿

Weeks later, the impromptu addition of Hyunsuk into the apartment circle brings along Mashiho, and suddenly dozens of new plants find themselves wedged into window sills and placed on table tops. Having four agriculture majors in the apartment is more amusing than anything, and Jaehyuk often enters the kitchen to find Jihoon detangling an invasive ivy, or Mashiho and Hyunsuk frantically trying to diagnose wilting or sun scalded plants.

Asahi quietly tends to Jaehyuk’s personal succulent, and it’s in the care that Asahi holds for this little plant that blooms a rush of affection in Jaehyuk’s chest, turning into a tingling warmth when Asahi will catch his eye and gently tease Jaehyuk for forgetting to water the plant again this week.

With a new dynamic forming between the five students, Tuesday night study sessions start becoming the regular, and Jaehyuk finds that Mashiho is _hilarious_. He’s quick to tease Asahi or add witty humor to Hyunsuk’s many animated stories, and Jaehyuk is quickly realizing that Mashiho is fiercely loyal.

This starts extending to Jihoon and Jaehyuk.

A convenience store run that turns confrontational when a hungover student hashly pushes past Jihoon leaves Mashiho demanding an apology, with Hyunsuk backing his friend up. Jaehyuk oversleeps an afternoon class one Monday, and he receives a sunny call from Mashiho because ‘you didn’t complain about electronic musical composition in the chat today, so I called to wake you up’. Hyunsuk also quickly warms up to Jaehyuk, and it’s not long before Hyunsuk snags a tub of mango sorbet to settle down beside Jaehyuk and stream any silly movie that’s trending that weekend. Jihoon’s equally ecstatic that his agriculture circle has expanded, and he and Hyunsuk start going on midnight endeavors over to the University’s public gardens.

It’s a late afternoon when Jaehyuk is trekking the gardens with Hyunsuk that they spot Yedam, doing his rounds in watering all the flowering plants, and an even larger circle of friends is formed. They invite Yedam over that night without telling Jihoon, and Jaehyuk remains amused for most of the night--Jihoon is surprisingly composed until Yedam falls asleep against Jihoon’s shoulder. A communications major by the name of Doyoung appears in their apartment one day, much to Jaehyuk’s confusion, and he finds out three days later that Doyoung is Yedam’s roommate.

It’s a little funny, if Jaehyuk reflects, because sometimes he won’t know who to call out to when he wakes up in the morning and heads into the kitchen. It’s a whirlwind of new voices and animated conversations in the apartment, with everyone finding a niche in Jihoon and Jaehyuk’s home. Hyunsuk has a habit of sneaking up on Jaehyuk when he’s washing his face in the morning, and Jaehyuk has swallowed soap on more than one occasion. Mashiho is more reserved, but Jaehyuk notes the sparkle in Mashiho’s eyes when he shares his passion for going into agricultural research. Yedam might be the kindest, most ambitious person Jaehyuk has ever met, because Yedam is somehow involved in every activity on campus, but still finds time to ask Jihoon to the drive-in-theater or spend nights in with everyone. Jaehyuk especially has a soft spot for Doyoung, who’s fashion sense is a collection of clothes that really shouldn’t work together, but somehow end up styled incredibly well. Doyoung is the one Jaehyuk grows closest to among their newest additions, maybe because they’re the odd college majors out, but just maybe because friendship with Doyoung is easy and refreshing.

Things with Asahi don’t change dramatically, even with new dynamics in the friend group--there's still their tentative space of uncertainty--but Asahi remains a steady presence by Jaehyuk’s side, always finding Jaehyuk by the end of the day, always drifting a little closer to Jaehyuk even when Jaehyuk is locked in conversation with another, always ending the night with a simple ‘goodnight jaehyuk. i’ll see you tomorrow’ through the phone. Asahi starts adding small emoticons to accompany his otherwise lettered texts, and Jaehyuk tries not to overanalyze. Fails. Runs to Jihoon everytime a new emoji makes an appearance.

The most recent emoticon is a small ‘♡’.

✿

Nothing prepares Jaehyuk for Jihoon’s sudden burst of excitement on a Wednesday morning, where Jaehyuk is still trying to rub sleep from his eyes, mind half focused on his coffee, simultaneously texting Asahi a daily ‘good morning sahi !!’ message.

Doyoung--resting his head on his forearms and watching the faint wisps of his own coffee rising from a mug--watches in horror as Jihoon launches himself across the counter and practically collides into Jaehyuk headfirst, stabilizing himself as he hugs a slightly stunned Jaehyuk tight. Doyoung makes a noise of surprise, and Jihoon starts shifting Jaehyuk from side to side, effectively waking Jaehyuk up in the process.

Jaehyuk lets out a whine and goes to pry Jihoon off of him, with a muttered, “Not this early, _please_.”

Jihoon is still bouncing. “So, I was thinking-”

“Always a bad sign.”

“-so _I was thinking_ about Yedam, right?”

Jaehyuk blinks at Jihoon. Doyoung muffles a laugh and raises his mug, taking care to sip his coffee slowly.

“Don’t give me that look, you didn’t hear me out. I was thinking, what if we throw a party here, next week.”

“A party.” Jaehyuk deadpans. Every weekend turned into some sort of movie night or group gathering, so Jihoon asking permission seemed a bit unnecessary.

“Yedam’s birthday is next week, I already promised Hyunsuk that we’d host.”

“Then why’d you even ask me?”

Jihoon shrugs and bops Jaehyuk nose lightly, grinning as Jaehyuk instinctively goes to scrunch up. Doyoung yawns from behind Jaehyuk and goes to gather his books from the table.

“If I count, I’d like that party to happen. Yedam hasn’t done anything big since- well, maybe middle school. I’ll help plan everything if you’re busy this week,” Doyoung offers.

“Of course you count, welcome to the family kid.” Jihoon grins. Jaehyuk goes to ruffle Doyoung’s hair in agreement and tugs on Doyoung’s elbow- they’re headed the same direction for their afternoon class, and they’ll be late if they try to plan an entire party in the moment. Jaehyuk turns back to Jihoon, nods, and responds. “I’ll text our chat, and me and Asahi can probably pick up decorations tomorrow, just let me know what you’re planning.”

“I won’t get in the way of your domestic outings then, Doyoung you’re on cake duty with me.”

“Jihoon.” Jaehyuk warns.

“It’s not like a secret anymore Hyuk, just make a move, it’s been working for me.”

Doyoung shrugs from where he’s stationed on the doorstep, “He’s got a point Jaehyuk, you’re both just waiting for the other to say something, why not just- I guess, say the thing- tell him he's the sun to your stars, or whatever mushy thing you-”

Jaehyuk grabs Doyoung’s backpack strap and turns him to stride out the door, calling out a: “And that’s my queue to leave, _goodbye_ Jihoon” before he makes a hasty escape, leaving his roommate grinning broadly behind him.

✿

Despite their busy schedules and far-too-casual planning, Yedam’s birthday comes together with all the gusto of Mashiho’s aesthetic and Asahi’s fine details: Jaehyuk is equally impressed and worried about the midnight countdown, streamers and shots of vodka lining the counter with all the golden and green decorations that Asahi and Jaehyuk have collected, Doyoung contributing the cake and fake vines to the apartment. It’s a greenhouse, Jaehyuk decides. The entire aesthetic is _plant_ , and Yedam is going to love it, despite all Jihoons nerves and tireless reiterations of ‘when he walks in, we sing on _my_ count’.

It goes perfectly, somehow. Yedam arrives for a midnight movie that Jihoon has promised, and instead he’s greeted with an asynchronous chorus of ‘Yedam we love you’ and ‘Happy birthday Yedamie, I hope this year is only happy and cheerful’. Yedam’s birthday has begun, and no one decides to take on the role of sober parent.

It’s mayhem, and Asahi is pleased with the way Yedam’s surprise morphs into joy, Jihoon clinging to Yedam’s arm most of the night, Doyoung forcefully feeding Yedam bits of chocolate cake, smearing his face and making an awfully adorable photoshoot.

Halfway through the night, when Yedam’s birthday countdown is long over--not without four attempted tries and plenty of laughter--a good dozen shots are finished; Jaehyuk grasps onto Asahi’s arm and leans close to whisper a ‘let’s clean up and check on those brownies, burning this place would suck so bad’.

Asahi nods, stumbles into the kitchen with Jaehyuk, but recognizes that he’s not far enough along to to be called drunk. He’s aware of Jaehyuk’s hold on his waist, his own hands pressed against Jaehyuk’s chest, and Asahi muffles a laugh into Jaehyuk’s shoulder. He’s tipsy at most, but hyperware of Jaehyuk, pressed against his own hip, Jaehyuk’s arms winding gently around Asahi’s neck, his gaze intense and calculating; for what, Asahi doesn’t know, but he knows that he’s _supposed_ to be cleaning up the extra flour and placing the egg carton back into the fridge, but all he wants to do is sway with Jaehyuk to the dull thumping of music from the living room.

“You okay?” Asahi’s voice is low, hands fitted around Jaehyuk’s waist, them both matching each other’s slight rhythm, unaware of anything other than each other, lost in the light mood of a friend’s birthday and recognizing the still quiet of the closed kitchen.

“Mmm.” Jaehyuk doesn’t give a direct answer, but he presses close into Asahi’s space, pressing his chest against Asahi’s own, giving Asahi space to back away if he wants, if he needs to, but Asahi stays. He presses his forehead against Jaehyuk’s own, and exhales slowly, shaky and strong with the harsh scent of watermelon vodka this time, not strawberry.

Daring. That’s how Asahi feels, stupidly confident and _daring_.

From this distance, Jaehyuk’s faint layer of foundation is visible under the incoming moonlight just outside the window. His eyes flutter as he draws near, Asahi’s own breath short and unsteady, the faint whistle of the kettle and click of the kitchen timer for brownies both miles away, the only thing mattering in this moment is the way both their breaths mingle, the way Asahi's wrist is pressed against the tingling cold of the counter, leaning back to accommodate for Jaehyuk in his space, _welcoming_ Jaehyuk in his space; it’s in the way Asahi’s gaze is intense and heavy as he glances lower, eyes flickering to settle on Jaehyuk’s lips, wet from the way his tongue darts out, lips parting in anticipation, before Asahi--

The timer sounds. A shrill whistle cuts through the kitchen as Jaehyuk jolts backwards in surprise, Asahi following him as he pushes himself from the counter to whirl around and slam a hand down on the timer.

Jaehyuk’s curse under his breath is low, but Asahi catches it anyway, and for a moment he almost barks out a sudden laugh of frustration.

He contemplates reaching out to Jaehyuk or running back into the living room, but Jaehyuk makes that decision for him, because as Asahi raises his head to assure Jaehyuk of--well, Asahi doesn’t know exactly what he’s about to say, but apparently he’s acting on impulse tonight--Jaehyuk’s already stepping away from Asahi to the brownies. The door of the oven screeches open and Asahi is hit with a gust of humidity; he quickly steps aside as Jaehyuk maneuvers the burning pan over to the table.

Any liquid courage Asahi might have had dissipates as Jaehyuk steps away again to retrieve a knife. 

Asahi gestures shakily at the kitchen door and stumbles over his words. “They’re probably hungry, I promised Mashiho a corner piece, I’m going to do that- give him that piece right now.”

Jaehyuk's a bit baffled, not understanding if Asahi is running away or asking Jaehyuk to follow him, but offers a “yeah, Doyoung likes those too, I think.”

“Right. I’ll cut another piece. I’m gonna-” Asahi takes a knife from Jaehyuk but leaves it hovering just above the tray; if Jaehyuk notices Asahi's sudden awkwardness, he says nothing, and just gives a quiet, "Here, let me bring them outside."

Left with nothing to focus on, Asahi turns from Jaehyuk to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. Jaehyuk doesn't pry; he doesn't say anything more to Asahi, noting the discomfort in Asahi's hunched shoulders. Jaehyuk's moves towards the living room, but everything about Jaehyuk’s stance seems to want to fall back into Asahi. Jaehyuk’s smile is back, a bit forced, but warm and attempting at comfort. “Sahi, you coming?”

Asahi sinks his teeth into his lower lip and nods, “Yeah I- I’ll clean up and bring water, I’ll be right there.”

Asahi falls back against the counter as Jaehyuk gives a slight tilt of the head; he looks like he wants to say something, lips pursing and mouth opening a bit, but he seemingly decides against it and nods instead. Jaehyuk just heads back into the living room, where their friend’s animated chatter grows louder for the few moments the kitchen door is open, leaving Asahi to slump into himself and look up at the patched ceiling.

He doesn’t need to explain anything to himself anymore, because even with Jaehyuk’s confusing signals--and Asahi places no blame there, because for the past month, him and Jaehyuk have been in such a flux, gravitating closer only to pull away at the last minute out of caution, or something else Asahi doesn’t quite understand--but he’s not _stupid_. He knows Jaehyuk’s eyes linger a little too long at their intertwined hands when Asahi makes regular greenhouse rounds; he sees Jihoon’s nudges and whispers before Jaehyuk asks him to accompany him on walks or convenience store runs; it’s in the way he can read Jaehyuk now, how Jaehyuk’s eyebrows knit when he concentrates, rubber end of a pencil lightly tapping his lower lip at a mismatched frequency, aligning with how easy or difficult homework is that night. How sometimes, in that silence, when Asahi goes to rest his head in Jaehyuk’s lap, the whole apartment asleep save for them, how Jaehyuk will gently place his textbook aside in exchange for carding his fingers through Asahi’s hair, pencil still nudged against his lip, mouth agape slightly with an expectation of saying something , a confession of _something_ ; and Asahi understands, really, because he has a confession of his own.

Woven into all those moments is the undeniable truth that he really, really wants to _kiss_ Jaehyuk.

Asahi digs the heel of his palms into his eyes and groans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know jaesahi was a bit,, less? in this chapter, but i wanted to add friendship dynamics !! as always, ty for reading and u can yell at me for the slow burn here [twt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangozaya)
> 
> a thank u to s who helped me rewrite the end of this scene a week after i posted; she also noted that the 'egg carton' needs to return to the fridge, not the 'egg cartoon' <3 love u


	5. maybe it's a bit complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly expositional set-up, so u can read this one and wait for the next, or come back in the next update and read chap 5+6 together in one go <3 im just grateful u even clicked on this story <3 ily

The walk between the music building and Asahi’s greenhouse--it’s the campus greenhouse, but Jaehyuk has affectionately associated the green space entirely with Asahi--takes about fifteen minutes across campus, but Jaehyuk has it timed to a solid nine.

He doesn’t find himself making the walk that much anymore.

The middle of the semester means more testing, more Sunday morning homework left over from the week, more time hidden in library corners and among any remaining cafe tables. Jaehyuk doesn’t expect to see too many people during mid-semester testing week anyway; Mashiho and Hyunsuk frequent the apartment less, but Jaehyuk gets regular texts from them; little stickers that resemble a happy tomato are Mashiho’s favorite of the month. Yedam and Jihoon disappear to study together often, but Jihoon has been seeing a noticeable point increase on most of his exams, so Jaehyuk can’t find much to tease Jihoon about.

Jaehyuk has another year left of college, so his exams carry no sense of urgency or finality to them; Hyunsuk and Asahi have been the most difficult to get ahold of since a few days after Yedam’s birthday, but they finish up and graduate in just two months, so Jaehyuk gives them space, with graduation preparation always being left until last minute. It’s a little lonely having no regular presence of--anyone really, but especially Jihoon or Asahi-- in the apartment, but Doyoung’s dance lessons end just after sunset, and Jaehyuk finds himself at the dance studio for the third time this week, extra water and fried egg rice in hand.

Doyoung grins the moment he spots Jaehyuk just outside the door, and rubs a towel into his hair as he bids his goodbyes to his teammates. Jaehyuk recognizes one or two of them, even receiving a fleeting hug from an old lab partner who he thinks he remembers as Jyunhao.

“I didn’t know if you were coming today.” Doyoung mildly comments as they settle down in a small cafeteria, bringing out their laptops along with the food that Jaehyuk neatly prepared. Doyoung's got a bit to review before his late exam tomorrow, and Jaehyuk had insisted on keeping him company till late.

“I finished my paper early,” Jaehyuk removes the assignment from his online homework planner with a little flourish, “and I didn’t need to take that nap I thought I did, so- here. Eggs and rice, with my own homemade sauce.”

“You’re too good to me.”

Jaehyuk sticks his tongue out, “Buy me ice cream later, and I’ll consider feeding you again this week.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, save for the occasional scrape of a spoon from Doyoung or the quiet keyboard clicks from Jaehyuk, before Doyung ventures to speak again.

“You know you can tell me anything, yeah?”

Jaehyuk glances over at where Doyoung scrapes the bottom of the dish and keeps typing. “Yeah, of course I know that, but-” Jaehyuk closes his current tab and peers over his screen to Doyoung again. “-Jihoon totally set you up to this, didn’t he?”

Doyoung’s eyes are gentle, but not without purpose. “You and Asahi have been weird.”

It’s a blunt statement. One that Jaehyuk expects, but still doesn’t know how to answer, so he settles for a hum instead. Doyoung’s eyes flash with something Jaehyuk can’t make out; he reaches forward and takes Doyoung’s spoon from where it's mindlessly being tapped onto the table.

Doyoung quickly makes an addition. “Wait, don’t take that the wrong way, I don't mean that I don't want you coming here, I’m just worried about you, that’s all.” At Jaehyuk’s hand stilling, Doyoung runs a hand through his drying hair and clicks his tongue, and notes a little quietly, “I’m sorry if I’m prying, you don’t owe me an explanation, I really am happy that you’ve been coming to the studio.”

Jaehyuk’s nervousness fades a bit at Doyoung’s immediate backtrack, and Jaehyuk shakes his head to try and convey that he’s not uncomfortable, just a bit thrown.

“You two don’t have to be so worried, honestly. We aren’t fighting or anything, if that’s what you’re trying to ask-” Jaehyuk goes to close Doyoung’s meal. “-we just got really busy. He graduates in a few months anyway, so I’m just giving him some- really, I just want to give him space, he’s got a few jobs he’s looking at anyway. It’s not a big deal.”

Doyoung is quiet for a moment, his own thumb tracing over his knuckles, before he reaches out tentatively to settle his hand over Jaehyuk’s own. “That makes sense.” His voice is soft. “I just don’t like seeing you so- well, it doesn’t matter, because if you say you’re fine, then I trust you.”

Jaehyuk nods once. Twice. Both relieved that the conversation was dropped and also a little touched that Doyoung cared to check in on him. Jaehyuk hadn’t lied to Doyoung--not exactly--because lying would imply that Jaehyuk knew entirely why he and Asahi hadn’t seen much of each other lately.

Jaehyuk clears his head as he walks back to the apartment, side-by-side with Doyoung, the silence comfortable and layered by the mist of an approaching rain shower. It takes just a moment before Jaehyuk and Doyoung enter the apartment for the rain to come down. Droplets bead gently down the windows of their living room that night, casting a gloom just outside of the apartment, but Jihoon has three mugs of hot chocolate and a few marshmallows for taste, and Jaehyuk settles comfortably between both of his friends to stay in for another night of many. Doyoung falls asleep tucked into Jaehyuk’s side, and Jihoon has his legs thrown lazily across them both.

Later, he sends Asahi a nightly text and heads to bed; he forces himself to not sit by his phone, refusing to check every few moments for a message in return.

✿

Their little apartment family unit lasts about one week of quick cross campus greetings and too many rescheduled lunch plans before Jihoon puts his foot down, sending a long form essay to their group chat. Jaehyuk mentally condenses it down to this:

  1. You all _will_ be coming over Friday night, and we will be reestablishing movie nights, so no one is allowed to make any other plans.
  2. Hyunsuk is the last one with an exam Friday afternoon, so any naps can be taken on Jaehyuk or Jihoon’s bed, and not at one’s own dorm.
  3. Mashiho is in charge of snacks this week; remember everyone’s allergies.
  4. Don’t let Jaehyuk eat all of Yedam’s homemade chicken curry.



Jihoon texts that last one with all the confidence of someone who gets away with far too many jokes in the name of friendship, scrambling far out of Jaehyuk’s reach when the text finally sends. Jaehyuk promises to get back at him later by gluing his shampoo bottle shut; it wouldn’t be the first time.

While Asahi does send a nightly text in return to Jaehyuk’s, his visits are less frequent, and Jaehyuk just _misses_ him, as simple as that. He doesn’t try to worry about this for too long though, because Friday comes around and brings with it a sudden clamour in the apartment, and the quiet of the week all but disappears with everyone crowded into the living room, exams finished and boxes of pizza lining the coffee table.

It’s organized chaos in the way that Hyunsuk stumbles through the room--not drunk, but extremely sleep deprived from the long week--and refuses any nap in exchange for a pot of evening coffee; it’s mildly concerning, but Jaehyuk leaves Hyunsuk to his own ‘destructive university student’ decisions. Yedam takes one end of the couch beside Jaehyuk and rests his legs across Jaehyuk’s lap while Jihoon pops no less than a dozen bags of popcorn in the kitchen, and Mashiho and Doyoung are engaged in some argument on the floor over the best flavored drink--mango juice versus pineapple smoothies?--but, the topic is mostly unclear. Asahi is the quietest of them all, seated beside Jaehyuk but not quite close enough, but it’s not an uncomfortable silence.

Instead, Asahi nods off every few seconds, head slipping from where he’s balancing on a bent wrist, and it takes everything in Jaehyuk to not reach over and pull Asahi into his other free side. It’s awfully endearing, the way Asahi tries to contribute to conversation but slurs every few seconds in his sentences, before giving up entirely and slumping against Jaehyuk, tucking close into Jaehyuk for the first time in nearly a week.

It eases Jaehyuk in a way he didn’t realize he needed to be reassured.

The apartment settles down for the night; Jihoon joins the circle forming in the space, and affectionately flicks Hyunsuk’s nose.

“Long time no see, stranger.”

Hyunsuk grins. “Says yourself, you were barely in your own apartment, poor Jaehyuk was left to fend for himself.”

Mashiho snorts from where he’s recently moved to Yedam’s side. “Jaehyuk’s breakfast was leftover rice for three days straight, even I got worried.”

“He substituted banana milk for water.” Yedam adds.

“Hey-” Jaehyuk gives a small pout, “-I’m literally right here. I also cook most nights, if anything Jihoon would starve.” Jihoon sticks his tongue out in response, and Jaehyuk goes to throw a pillow, but Asahi grumbles from where he’s been dozing on Jaehyuk’s chest, and Jaehyuk immediately backs down, tenderly steering Asahi’s head back into a comfortable position in the space of his shoulder, pressing his cheek against Asahi’s hair. Jihoon grins with a whispered ‘ _whipped’_. Doyoung cuffs Jihoon’s ear gently and shushes him, a genuine smile directed at Jaehyuk, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

Jihoon starts again, more of a sympathetic tone to his voice, and bumps Hyunsuk lightly with his shoulder. “For real though, how are you and Asahi doing with everything?”

Hyunsuk’s eyes are bright. “I’m almost done with submitting everything actually. I ran after my last professor today for a signature, so tomorrow its- bam! To the office, and I can sit back, and now I just wait for my diploma.”

“How they let you graduate, I’ll never know.” Asahi says from Jaehyuk’s side, but his tone is light and teasing, and Hyunsuk barks a laugh.

“Actually,” Hyunsuk starts, “I might- emphasis on _might_ \- have been given a full time offer today.”

“Holy shit.” Mashiho slaps Hyunsuk on the back, “You never said anything!”

“I didn’t want to say anything until I was certain, but it’s a local job, so I’ll be crashing here next year as long as I’m allowed to.” Hyunsuk looks expectantly at Jaehyuk and Jihoon, and Jaehyuk flashes a thumbs up, with Jihoon reminding Hyunsuk that “my home is your home friend”.

Doyoung snags a bowl of popcorn from the table and takes a handful before handing it to Asahi, and taps on Asahi’s knee. “What about you, what’s the final plan after you graduate?”

Asahi, who has been keeping out of conversation for most of the night, grows rigid when all eyes in the room direct to him, and Jaehyuk subconsciously presses his hand into Asahi’s forearm as a way to comfort him.

“I’m not quite sure yet, I have some options.” Asahi’s answer sounds a bit clipped, and he pressed back into Jaehyuk, almost to shy away from the question. From the foot of the couch, Jihoon looks to Asahi, noting the hesitance from the boy, and throws Jaehyuk a questioning glance. Jaehyuk returns this look to Jihoon and refrains from shrugging, but he’s equally confused.

If the room grows tense, Doyoung hasn’t noticed, and continues with a “you were leaning to Professor Bang's research right? Did they ever get back to you?” That’s something new. Jaehyuk leans into Asahi in excitement, and shakes Asahi’s arm a bit. “I didn’t know about this offer, what’s the job?”

From Jaehyuk’s other side, Yedam leans up slowly to sit up on the couch and gives a quick, “Asahi, did my father's company email you back?”

“They- yeah, they did. I got an offer.”

Asahi’s reluctance to talk about the offer is clear in his short responses, but Jaehyuk thinks he gets it. Asahi was a private person anyway, and was probably waiting to have a clear offer set up before offering the information, just as Hyunsuk has done.

Jihoon leans forward, interested. “So what is this job? Where do you end up?”

“It’s a research position actually, just for a year, and then I come back. And, it’s not a job, just something new before I apply for a full time job.” Where Jaehyuk would have expected some level of pride in Asahi’s tone, there’s nothing.

“When would you have to fly out then?” Hyunsuk prompts, to which Mashiho slaps a hand on Hyunsuk’s mouth, a warning of some sort in his eyes. 

_Huh?_

Doyoung’s now keyed into the odd atmosphere in the room and also looks to Jaehyuk, before narrowing his eyes in a silent question to Yedam. Yedam twists his mouth but says nothing. Mashiho looks away from the group, and Jaehyuk’s nerves start to set in. _Was he missing something?_ Clearly Jihoon didn’t understand either, because Jihoon’s eyes scan between everyone in the room.

Jaehyuk breaks the silence and speaks up, looking to the top of Asahi’s head, as Asahi has sunk into the couch, seemingly growing smaller as the conversation progresses. “Fly out where?”

Doyoung offers a tentative, “Did you want it to be a surprise?” to Asahi, who doesn’t respond.

“What do me and Jaehyuk not know.” Jihoon’s statement is blunt and slightly edged with frustration. Jaehyuk mirrors the sentiment.

He prods Asahi’s thigh for some explanation, but Asahi’s gone completely quiet; he shakes his head, pulling away from Jaehyuk’s warm side, and curls into a ball on the couch, leaning away and pulling his knees up to his chest. At Jaehyuk’s reach forward, Asahi upturns his eyes and gazes at Jaehyuk’s with a hint of sadness and desperation; for what, Jaehyuk can only guess, but his slight nerves from before now stretch beyond just his chest, and Jaehyuk feels a cold that settles all over.

“My dad’s company is across the country.” It’s Yedam who speaks, hands twisting in his lap and gaze nervously flitting between Jihoon and Jaehyuk. “It’s a few hours away by plane, and he goes every summer.”

Jihoon attempts a light, “Asahi, that’s incredible. When do you start?”

“Little over a month from now.”

“Ah.”

Jihoon clears his throat and tries again. “I’m genuinely excited for you Asahi, but a little warning would have been nice.” Jihoon goes for a teasing tone, but it falls short with the way everyone’s turned their gaze to Asahi, with the exception of Jaehyuk, who has turned to stare hard at his own hands in his lap.

“Not that you needed to tell us everything, but how are we supposed to plan a going-away party now.” Jihoon winces as his own phrasing and brings a hand up to rub at the back of his neck, looking awkwardly at the ground.

It's quiet again, the now stale popcorn scent in the air makes Jaehyuk’s stomach lurch, and he wants to be far, far away; anywhere but here, in a room that’s suddenly too small, and in a space that’s slowly stifling him with the silence that’s fallen.

“When were you going to tell me?”

Asahi startles and snaps his eyes to Jaehyuk, whose question is soft and monotone, no implication or particular emotion betrayed in his voice, yet his words cut across the room harshly, leaving Hyunsuk wincing and Doyoung gripping his bowl of popcorn tighter.

Asahi looks a bit frantic, and goes to reach for Jaehyuk, but is given no indication that Jaehyuk has noticed or even wants--comfort? what is Asahi supposed to offer here? the situation won’t change--and Asahi backtracks.

“I haven’t accepted it yet, Hyuk.” Asahi let’s the familiar nickname fall between them, but it feels stilted somehow.

“But you’re going to accept it.” Jaehyuk turns to face Asahi, and instead of the hurt that Asahi expects, a watery smile replaces Jaehyuk’s previous blank expression.

“I’m proud of you, you deserve this.”

It’s somehow so much worse--the genuine sentiment from Jaehyuk--because Asahi just wants to shake him and argue against the support. He expected anger, some form of projected frustration from Jaehyuk, but somehow the quiet resignation hurts more than an outburst. Asahi wants to disappear into the couch cushions. Clicking his tongue, Jaehyuk reaches out to ruffle Asahi’s hair, his touch soft but his glassy eye’s betraying his forced enthusiasm. Jaehyuk continues to lightly reference Asahi’s future plans, but it’s clear that Jaehyuk is rambling to avoid acknowledging anything.

“You’re going to meet so many interesting people there.”

Asahi was content with the friend’s he had, didn’t Jaehyuk understand that?

“Maybe you’ll get a cool roommate.”

He’d be returning in a year, so new connections weren’t a concern.

“Stop looking so sad, you worked hard for this.”

Asahi wishes Jaehyuk would stop talking.

“You’ll forget about this place in no time.”

 _Enough_.

Before Asahi can do anything drastic--like leave the room, blurt out something he doesn’t mean, or tear up in frustration--Mashiho abruptly stands, offers no feigned subtly, and points to the rack of movies stocked up in the corner of the room. “It’s getting a bit late, let’s start the movie? I’ve been meaning to watch this one.” With that, everyone watches as Mashiho goes to retrieve the movie, and Doyoung also jumps up to grab the remote by the tableside, turning on the screen and droning out any conversation that could continue between anyone in the room.

Jaehyuk sinks back into the couch, and no matter how many times during the remainder of that night that Asahi finds himself looking at Jaehyuk, the latter only catches Asahi’s gaze once, and gives a small smile, much too small for someone like Jaehyuk. Jihoon has replaced Yedam’s place on Jaehyuk’s other side and runs a hand through Jaehyuk’s hair for most of the movie, lulling Jaehyuk to sleep, body turned from Asahi to Jihoon instead. The movie ends, Jaehyuk remains asleep, and Hyunsuk offers to clean up, with Asahi joining him. They silently scrub dishes, and Asahi avoids Hyunsuk’s searching look every time Hyunsuk reaches over to dry off a dish.

Asahi leaves that night without a word to Jaehyuk, who hasn’t woken up from where he’s tucked against Jihoon. Yedam choses to stay the night and excuses himself to make tea--not without a quick hug, drawing Asahi close and indirectly apologizing for offering information that Asahi has not revealed, but it was never Yedam’s fault. It’s no one’s fault. Doyoung rests his cheek against the couch arm and raises a lazy wave in Asahi’s direction.

Asahi’s takes his leave, Hyunsuk and Mashiho leading out the door and Asahi trailing, offering Jihoon one last nod, and Jihoon smiles back, a little tightly, but his expression mellows out and Jihoon finally mouths a ‘I’ll see you later then”. There’s no hard feeling with Jihoon, Asahi decides, but the lack of closure with Jaehyuk unsettles him.

He closes the apartment door behind him with a soft _click_.

✿

They make it one block from the apartment before Hyunsuk can’t help himself.

“Right, so what exactly was all of _that_.”

“Hyunsuk.” Mashiho warns, but Asahi shakes his head at Mashiho, offering Hyunsuk a shrug.

“No, Hyunsuk’s right, I-” Asahi breaks off, “I should have said something earlier, but I just didn’t, and I don’t have an answer for you on why.”

Hyunsuk softens his tone. “You don’t owe anyone your information, you know that right? But, Jihoon doesn’t care, he’ll get over it. You might need to help him plan your ‘going-away’ fiesta though.”

“You know it’s not Jihoon I’m worried about.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Asahi sighs and rubs into his eyes, blinding himself temporarily with the static of stars that seep into his vision. The evening is a bit cold; Mashiho shivers slightly against the wind, but Asahi feels none of this. He wants to go back to a month ago, when he first got the email from Yedam’s father, but even now he isn’t sure if he would have told Jaehyuk right away. What was he even supposed to say?

“Asahi, what’s going on between you and Jaehyuk?” Mashiho raises his hand. “Don’t say nothing, because I won’t believe you, and I really think you need to talk this one out.”

Mashiho’s known him the longest, and Asahi hates that his friend’s not wrong.

“Nothing.”

“Asahi, please talk to us.”

“No, that’s the thing, _nothing_ is wrong. Sure, it’s awkward sometimes, but we’re actually _fine_.”

Mashiho arches an eyebrow. “Then, why-”

“Why didn’t I say anything? Why didn’t I tell him I’m leaving right after graduation?”

“Well, yeah. That too, but why haven’t you even mentioned it? The second you got the offer, you knew you wanted it.”

Asahi halts abruptly, leaving Hyunsuk to yelp and side-step to avoid a collision. Asahi turns to face his friends, teeth slightly chattering, hands balled in frustration--or was it guilt? did he really need to feel guilty about this?-- in the pocket of his coat. “I don’t know how to tell him I’m leaving for a year. I _still_ don’t know how to tell him, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to remind me that I’m an idiot.”

Hyunsuk winces. “Asahi, you just tell him the way you told us, and that you’ll be back. He’ll understand.”

“So we just pretend that the last few months didn’t happen, and I ship off across the country?”

“Asahi,” Mashiho gently places a hand on Asahi’s shoulder, “We’re on your side here, we’re not here to fight you.”

Asahi exhales, mumbles a sorry, and Mashiho shakes his head, not needing the apology.

“You know, I almost kissed him the other day-” Hyunsuk makes a noise that suspiciously sounds like a squeak, and Asahi would have laughed if he wasn’t so anxious. “-don’t give me that look, I know we aren’t subtle, and I know we’ve been in this weird middle space for so long now, but at this point I don’t know how to tell him I’m leaving, and I can’t ask him to wait for me- that’s beyond selfish probably, but-”

Hyunsuk cuts Asahi off with a low whistle and quietly says, “I think I’m getting your point now.”

Asahi slouches forward against Mashiho. “I was going to tell him, but I didn’t know how, so how can I even promise him _anything_ and then leave for a year?”

“You’re serious about him.” It’s not a question; Mashiho knows the answer.

“Of course I am.”

“Asahi, you don’t really need our help on this one, you know you just need to talk to him. You’ve been assuming everything about this without even _asking_ him, so go fix this.” Mashiho offers a comforting squeeze on Asahi’s forearm. “And when you finally talk to him, I’ll throw you that party myself.”

✿

Asahi doesn’t find Jaehyuk the next day, or the next.

He’s not avoiding him exactly, but the script in his head--an apology? a dramatic confession? another moment missed because neither of them know where the other stands?--the script is unfinished, and Asahi is far too nervous to properly approach Jaehyuk, for fear of giving him some unfinished apology.

So he takes the easiest path, and does nothing.

Mashiho calls him an idiot. Asahi has to agree with that one.

He’s at the greenhouse on a Tuesday, mindlessly combing his way through a set of boxed chrysanthemums that haven’t hit their growth cycle yet, studded in pale green bulbs and barely showing a hint of orange flower, when a familiar knocking pattern sounds to the left of his senses, where a side door into the greenhouse stands.

_Jaehyuk?_

A hand slowly pushes the door open, and it’s Jaehyuk’s eyes that light up when he spots Asahi, and Asahi feels his chest seize up in fondness; a bit of guilt for two days of silence, but mostly overwhelming fondness.

Asahi let’s himself feel normal for close to an hour, with the way Jaehyuk drops a bag of takeout on a cleared bench and hikes himself up on another, lazily swinging his legs as Asahi works around him, Jaehyuk huffing short laughs when particularly funny posts shows up on where he’s scrolling through his phone. It’s nice, Asahi faintly muses, on how effortlessly they coexist in their little space of the greenhouse, between walls of curling ivy and overgrown benches of blooming fuchsia. How nice it is to pretend for a moment, that nothing outside their bubble can take away the peace they find within it.

“I’ve missed this.”

The longing in Jaehyuk’s tone doesn’t go unnoticed, and their messy reality quietly settles in. If this was a metaphor, their bubble doesn’t exactly pop, but grows thinner and shaky in time. Asahi continues to mold soil around the roots of a tough aloe vera, stalks browning slightly with age.

“Do you want to do something today, just us?”

 _Of course I want to_ , Asahi wants to immediately respond, but his brain catches him just before he can. He runs through a mental checklist for the week; between a few last work shifts, advisor meetings, and graduation shopping--Hyunsuk insisted that Asahi’s plain white dress shirt needed an upgrade, whatever that meant--Asahi can’t find a slot of time that gives him more than an hour with Jaehyuk. He’s going to need more than an hour if he wants to get even half his apologies and explanations off his chest, because while Jaehyuk is patient and kind, he _must_ have limits for how long Asahi can drag out everything unsaid between them.

“Hyuk, I’m sorry-” he really is, “but I don’t think this week works.”

“What about our coffee night tomorrow?’

Asahi winces. “I promised Mashiho something tomorrow, I don’t-”

“It’s fine.” Jaehyuk’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. Asahi feels himself sinking into the foliage around him.

“I can try for next week, I promise, it’s just-”

“If I did something wrong, I need you to tell me.” Jaehyuk’s interjection is sharp, and any warmth in his tone is replaced with a hurt that Asahi desperately wants to erase. “I barely see you these days, and I know you’re busy-” Jaehyuk cuts off to knock his feet back beneath the bench, and a grating _clang_ echoes across the space, “-I _miss_ you, Sahi. Tell me what I did so I can fix this.”

Asahi can’t respond; the script in his head doesn’t do well with improvisation. He stares uselessly at Jaehyuk’s foot, tapping anxiously against the cement floor, and Asahi opens his mouth a few times, with Jaehyuk leaning closer to hear what the other might say, but Asahi just angles himself away from Jaehyuk’s pleading eyes and exhales shakily. Jaehyuk gets nothing. Asahi gives him nothing.

Jaehyuk’s next words roll off Asahi with a startling chill; the sticky heat of the greenhouse backdrop and Jaehyuk’s resignation carry heavy, but do nothing to send off the bucket of ice that Asahi’s fairly certain he’s plunged into.

“Were you just going to leave?”

Asahi is frozen; Jaehyuk pays him no mind in frustration and continues, feet kicking asynchronously and hands gripping the rusted bench in fervor.

“Why didn’t you tell me about any of your plans after you graduated- did you not want me to know? I’ve thought about it for days now you know, and I don’t think either of us have fucked up that badly, so I have nothing here. You’d think I’d have come up with something by now, but I literally have nothing.”

“You- nothing. You’ve done nothing, it’s not you. It’s-”

“Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say.”

Asahi immediately quiets, and only the mechanical whirr of the greenhouse fills the space between them. Jaehyuk dusts his hands off on worn jeans and jumps to the floor, using his hand to balance himself, coming to stop just short of Asahi, hands splayed outward.

“I’m not mad at you-” Jaehyuk steadies a breath, “-okay, maybe a _little_ mad, but I think you had your reasons, and I’ll wait for you, so don’t take too long, yeah?”

 _Thank god_ , is all Asahi can muster in his head, because _of course_ Jaehyuk would allow him the time he’s not sure he deserves. Jaehyuk’s patience is endearingly infuriating, and yet the single kindest thing that Asahi will grasp onto right now, and he says that much to Jaehyuk.

“Okay. Okay, I know.” Asahi tries to steady his voice. “Soon, I promise.”

“Fine.” Jaehyuk’s finality is jarring; not unkind, but layered with an edge of something that Asahi doesn’t know how to reach out to. Asahi wordlessly follows Jaehyuk out of the greenhouse and bolts the lock, turning around and pressing his hands against the cool metal, head bumping against the grain of the door, eyes downcast.

“I’ll see you soon then, Sahi.”

Asahi feels the distance stretch as Jaehyuk turns to leave slowly, a rigidity in his movements, but not enough to stop him entirely; Jaehyuk’s steps grow quick, his hand remains gripped around his sling bag so tightly that Asahi can see his whitening fingers from even his distance. Asahi doesn’t know how to reach out, so he doesn’t.

He tucks his arms against the straps of his own bag, and slowly walks back to where Mashiho has promised dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so full disclosure, ik not /much/ happens this chapter, but i kind of said 'fuck it' to the slow burn in the next update sooo....... :)
> 
> thank u for reading an entire chapter of expositional light angst <3 ull get a gift in the next one i promise <3


	6. streetlights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick note before the chapter: no character has bad intentions here, even the strangers, so please dont worry !! there are no major warnings for this chapter beyond legal alcohol consumption and slight anxious thoughts

Jaehyuk’s Friday night starts out with two common factors that only come before incredibly bad decisions: an overachieving Jihoon, and a handle of strawberry vodka.

Jihoon decides that _exactly_ what Jaehyuk needs is a night to forget all his problems--specifically a night in the basement of a dingy university club scene; Yedam looks on fondly as Jihoon rushes around the apartment, pulling together last-minute outfits and glitter eyeliner out of seemingly nowhere, splaying shot glasses and wine coolers across the counter with all the grace of a skateboarder taking their first ever run.

It could be worse, Jaehyuk muses, because the only collateral damage of the evening is Jaehyuk’s favorite shot glass that lies shattered against the kitchen floor with a prior startling _clang_. Jaehyuk carefully sidesteps the sweeped shards of glass to weave around Doyoung, who is busy with measuring and mixing drinks in a blender. As Jaehyuk scoots himself to the counter and props his head up with an arm, Doyoung cuts in to mention that Jihoon’s idea of a ‘fun Friday night’ resembles a bad teenage comedy, but Jaehyuk catches the sparkle in Doyoung’s eye when Jihoon announces that he would be taking care of everyone’s bar entrance fee.

Yedam and Doyoung are entirely convinced. Jaehyuk sighs and begrudgingly follows Jihoon into the bedroom, where Yedam’s silver eyeshadow is nearly coated fully. Yedam himself is flushed a soft pink, a stark contrast to the deep red tint to his eyes that Jihoon is now generously applying, and Jihoon makes a scene to shift slowly into Yedam’s space, messing up his liner no less than four times; Jihoon is more preoccupied with pressing gentle kisses into Yedam’s cheekbone, not yet touched by shimmering highlighter. Yedam looks stunning, Jaehyuk decides, and he plops himself down on the bed, waiting for whatever color Jihoon decides is suitable for ‘ _Jaehyuk’s vibe’_ that evening.

Jaehyuk feels like a drab grey, but Jihoon decides on a gentle amethyst.

“If you don’t stop moving, I’ll poke your eye out.” Jihoon warns, and Jaehyuk wants to stick out a petulant tongue, but refrains for only the sake of his own eyes staying intact.

“How long is this going to take?”

“Shut up, just let me make you the prettiest boy in this club.” Jihoon pauses, before blowing a dramatic kiss towards Yedam, who is lounged out across Jihoon’s bed beside Jaehyuk. “Actually, the second, because Yedam is out with us tonight.”

Yedam goes to lazily wave a hand in Jihoon’s direction, affection outpouring in his soft gesture.

Jihoon startles Jaehyuk with a sharp, “ _stay still_ , I’m almost done.” A finishing touch of golden glitter across Jaehyuk’s brow is cold and sticky to the touch, but Jihoon is clearly elated with his finished product, because he calls out to Doyoung from where the younger is still in the kitchen.

“Come here and convince Hyuk that he’s glowing, and don’t forget to tip the beauty guru.” Jihoon flourishes a red tipped makeup brush dangerously close to Jaehyuk’s eye, “It’s me, praise _me_.”

“What did you say?” Doyoung calls out from a distance, moving to Jihoon’s room and showing his face in the door frame. Upon seeing Jaehyuk, who is nervously pulling his shirt from where it fits sheer against his chest, Doyoung stills, eyes widening.

“ _Fuck,_ you look good.”

As a sudden afterthought, Doyoung clamps a hand across his mouth and muffles out a quick, “I mean- the purple. Your eyes look nice.” Jihoon just squints at Doyoung, and gives a sulky, “That was all me, but my best friend does deserves the spotlight-” Jihoon lunges across the bed and tackles Jaehyuk into the covers,”-and you’ll say nothing as I charm our way into this bar.”

“Jihoon, we’re all legal?” Yedam gently nudges his boyfriend, amusement and exasperation all wrapped in one.

“Sorry, did I forget to mention we’re sneaking snacks into the bar?”

“You’ll just get us kicked out.” Yedam clips back.

As Jaehyuk watches over his friends fondly, Doyoung slides into his space with an arm thrown over his shoulder and a lazy grin, his own eye’s a deep maroon, glitter adorning his lashes. “Ready to fuck up this party?”

Jaehyuk hopes the night doesn’t go nearly as drastic.

✿

At this point in university, Jaehyuk recognizes that he should just do away with hoping.

Any promise to keep the group together is entirely forgotten the second Jihoon sneaks an alarmingly large bag of half-melted chocolate past the bouncer--more the tired student worker who will spend the next three hours bending over fake identifications and denying the drunkest of partygoers--and Jaehyuk is immediately hit with a pungence of alcohol mixed in with stifling humidity, and somewhere beyond him is an approaching bass-boosted remix that he can only vaguely discern.

He loses sight of Jihoon and Yedam soon after, both tumbling against each other to buy another drink from the bartender and distribute chocolate to tipsy students who recognize the pair, or who are alarmingly willing to trust two strangers on a Friday night. Doyoung keeps to Jaehyuk’s side, pressing close to avoid being shoved harshly aside by the swell of people surrounding them, and looks for a clearing to secure a few more drinks.

Doyoung turns to cup his hands around Jaehyuk’s ear and all but screams, “Stay here, I’ll get us a round of shots!”

_Shots?_

Doyoung and shots was a recipe for a mean hangover the next day, so Jaehyuk decides someone has to stay _at least_ partially functional throughout the night. He’s got a higher tolerance, at least enough to outlast Doyoung, and if he’s being honest with himself--Jihoon has reminding him no less than a dozen times this week to self-reflect, find some inner peace, and do whatever soothing practice Jihoon has taken up recently--but Jaehyuk’s in no state to nurse even a beer, much less a row of sour tequila. He wants to take a few sips of a mixed drink with far too much fruit juice incorporated, and maybe dance if he’s dragged out to the floor.

Jaehyuk makes his way to Doyoung and pushes himself up on a high seat, in front of a bartender who swiftly places a row of a dozen shot glasses in a perfect row. With a seasoned flourish, their bartender--”The name’s Changbin, I’ll be taking care of this section tonight.”--layers tequila high and rims the glasses with salt, sliding a lime neatly on each corner. Doyoung bounces beside Jaehyuk and messily shoves half the row to Jaehyuk, and his grin is tinged with mischief as he thumps Jaehyuk on the back.

“Drink up, it’s on me.”

Tequila is _disgusting_. The salt does nothing to soothe the acrid taste of the alcohol, and the lime makes the sting on his tongue worse. Jaehyuk wordlessly takes four more shots, and sets the glasses down on the counter harshly. Beside him, Doyoung giggles into every shot before poorly downing them, and slumps against Jaehyuk after his last one.

“One more Jaehyuk! You got this, I-” Doyoung jabs a finger into his own chest for emphasis. “I’ll be your personal cheerleader! Here, I’ll even tell, oh what’s his name? Changmin?”

“Changbin?”

“Yeah! Bring him here, he can cheer for you too!”

Jaehyuk might have underestimated just how much Doyoung drank back at the apartment, because tequila doesn’t hit this fast, but Doyoung is already forgetting his initial train of thought and tugging Jaehyuk further into the bar, Jaehyuk’s last shot forgotten but not mourned. He distantly thinks about how the stifling humidity of the greenhouse isn’t quite as pronounced as the crowded space around them, and then immediately backtracks.

Jaehyuk combs through his fringe in frustration. He _won’t_ think about Asahi right now, because Jaehyuk already said what he needed to earlier in the week. The ball is in Asahi’s court, and Asahi just has to find him and _talk_. If he’s honest--and the shots are starting to loosen him up, so he’s letting his mind run a bit more than he’d care to admit--Jaehyuk had been sulking in the apartment all week. It isn’t difficult for Asahi to have flagged him down, but if time is what Asahi needs, then Jaehyuk will grit his teeth and remain patient.

(If he’s continuing this truth train, then he’ll admit-- _only to himself-_ -that he’s starting to lose a bit of hope.)

Jaehyuk steadies himself as Doyoung comes to a halt, and decides that Jihoon might be right, and a night out could actually work to steady his nerves if only he lets himself have a bit of fun. It’s beyond warm on the elevation of the wooden floor of the bar, harsh overhead lights beating down on their sweat soaked shirts, the shadow’s of Jaehyuk’s friends growing more prominent than his friends themselves, most of them hidden away in the darker corners of the crowded space, where strangers and friends alike intertwined and section off into their own circles.

Doyoung grasps Jaehyuk’s shirt insistently and rocks back on his heels, searching for words in the buzz of his senses, and settles for a quick, “I’ll find Jihoon and Yedam, so we can all dance, give me- I’ll be back before you can count your shoelaces.”

Jaehyuk huffs fondly and nods for Doyoung to go; the younger boy had been rather flighty the past week, seemingly avoiding situations that left him alone with Jaehyuk, but Jaehyuk could just be imagining everything. There’s a little too much uncertainty with his relationships right now, but he might just be projecting the haze of his and Asahi’s dynamic on everyone at the moment.

With nothing to do but wait for his friends, Jaehyuk allows himself to sway gently, not quite matching the rhythm of the crazed dance floor, but his head starts buzzing, subtly at first; as Jaehyuk reaches out to steady himself on--on what exactly? what did he just reach toward?--the room starts to slide sideways, and Jaehyuk remembers something rather crucial, something he should have really taken into account before even coming out.

His last meal was a late brunch of charred toast. He’s an _idiot_.

He’s managed to steady himself against--a _person_ , Jaehyuk reminds himself, this is a _person_ , and you’re in a _club_ , and you’re an _idiot_ \--and Jaehyuk pushes himself back, an apology on the tip of his tongue, but the boy in front of him is faster, and slides his hand to loosely hold Jaehyuk’s waist, and Jaehyuk stills.

The person before him politely retracts his hands, and offers a quick, “Shit, am I reading this wrong?” Jaehyuk vaguely acknowledges that this man doesn’t seem to want anything suspicious, so Jaehyuk remains in their shared space, the club scene around him a distant sense to the subtle cologne and warm touch of the man before him. Jaehyuk doesn’t know what he wants, so he offers nothing for a moment; all he can think about is how he really needs some bread in his stomach and water in his grasp to replace his current vodka cranberry.

 _Fuck it._ Jaehyuk promised himself that he would try to have a good time tonight, right? If that meant dancing with a kind stranger at the bar--the hour ticking close to midnight, but the party climbing to a new volume decibel every few minutes--then so be it. Jaehyuk slowly pushes forward into the man’s space, only inches of separation between them, but the other seems to understand Jaehyuk’s consent, and brings Jaehyuk in, creating a bubble for just them in the sea of clamoring students. Jaehyuk’s brain quiets for a moment, lost in the feeling of being _wanted_ , with the way the man’s eyes burn into Jaehyuk and his hand comes to rest by Jaehyuk’s hip-

-it feels _wrong_.

It’s a delayed realization, and Jaehyuk panics. He’s drunk now, sure, but he knows enough to understand that this isn’t what he wants right now. Though innocent, the boy’s trailing touch against his lower back is all _wrong_ , and with the way he gently moves with Jaehyuk, Jaehyuk thinks he should be comforted alongside the pulsing music of the bar, but Jaehyuk feels cold, icy from both his drink balanced precariously in his grasp and from everything that isn’t making any sense right now; he thinks he might be overwhelmed, breathing coming out shallow and stifled and-

“Hey, are you-” the unknown face in front of him murmurs quietly--not without urgency--and the touch against his wrist is gone, replaced by a firm hold against his shoulder, “Are you okay- shit, where are your friends? Who did you come with?”

 _Friends_. Jaehyuk knows what that means. He wordlessly points towards the bar, where Jihoon has spotted him already, and breathes out a ‘there, I think he’s there’ in Jihoon’s direction. The unknown face nods hesitantly and seems to back up from Jaehyuk, to leave him alone or to show Jihoon that he isn’t a threat, Jaehyuk doesn’t know.

It’s apparently the latter, because as Jihoon grows increasingly closer, the man nods at Jihoon, recognizing him as the Jaehyuk had pointed to, and steps further back.

“Jaehyuk, what’s going on.” Jihoon’s voice raises as he reaches Jaehyuk, grabbing onto his friend’s arm immediately and swinging Jaehyuk into his chest. Jaehyuk feels immediately nauseous. Jihoon’s eyes zone into the man who continues to maintain distance. “What’s going on here?”

Jaehyuk tries to raise his head from Jihoon’s shoulder to vouch for the stranger, but the stranger beats him to it.

“Listen, your friend looked like he was about to faint, and I was just making sure he found you. I’m not trying to start shit, if you’re all good, then I’ll go.” The stranger addresses Jaehyuk at the end of his statement, but Jaehyuk’s got his eyes closed, room still spinning, pressure building in his temples and stinging across his sinuses. Jaehyuk feels Jihoon shift under him, and he thinks Jihoon gives a short affirmation, but he can’t be sure, because Jaehyuk blinks once and he finds that he’s missing frames of time, because there’s a different hold that Jaehyuk is enveloped in.

Jaehyuk catches a flash of Jihoon’s outfit, but he’s gone when Jaehyuk refocuses; Jaehyuk distantly thinks that Jihoon must be finding Yedam. Doyoung presses warm against Jaehyuk’s side instead, and leads him over to a table hidden in the corner, away from the pounding music and lights that only overwhelm Jaehyuk; they settles down, their hands loosely intertwined to assure Jaehyuk that someone safe is with him. They’re quiet for a few minutes, Doyoung giving an occasional squeeze of a hand when Jaehyuk sways too far to one side, and finally just tucks Jaehyuk under his chin, huffing a small laugh when Jaehyuk whines with the new and uncomfortable angle.

“You’re gonna fall over, so we’re going to stay like this for a moment, okay?”

Jaehyuk recognizes Doyoung’s tone as one that a sober friend takes on to convince a drunk one about the benefits of drinking water, but he’s far too hazy to argue that _‘he’s fine, really_ ’, and instead just nods into Doyoung’s collar, loosely wrapping his hand around Doyoung’s waist for more support.

“Warm.” Jaehyuk murmurs.

“Hm?”

“You’re warm.”

Jaehyuk feels Doyoung’s hold tighten around his hand, but Doyoung doesn’t respond immediately, chest heaving under Jaehyuk’s head with the heavy air of sweat and the pungency of alcohol--Jaehyuk is heavily regretting coming to the bar, it only serves to make him more nauseous.

“Asahi’s bringing a car around. Yedam texted him, so we’ll be out of here soon.”

Jaehyuk nods again, not quite processing Doyoung’s words, and exhales carefully, waiting for his headache to subside and stomach to settle down. Doyoung’s gone slightly rigid from above, but keeps Jaehyuk upright and finally rests a cheek against Jaehyuk’s head, sighing into the slightly disheveled hair.

“You should have eaten before we came.” Doyoung’s tone isn’t without affection.

Jaehyuk doesn’t move much, but breathes a soft ‘ _don’t remind me’ ._

Doyoung then says something, quiet and muffled into Jaehyuk’s hair, and Jaehyuk attempts to lift his head up and listen; the adjustment is met without any success. As Doyoung’s whisper gets lost in the space around them, Jaehyuk gently prods at Doyoung’s side to get him to speak up again.

Doyoung gives in. “I’ll get over this soon, y’know?”

Jaehyuk wants to tell Doyoung that he very much _doesn’t_ know, but his tongue feels heavy and he’s dizzy again, so he settles for a grunt. He’s not even sure what emotion he’s trying to express beyond a general confusion.

“It’s weird, because I’m rooting for you and Asahi, but I’m also- you mean too much, so I’ll get over this, and I’ll be fine. Actually, I might need to be a bit sad for a while, if that’s okay with you?”

 _If what’s okay with me?_ Jaehyuk tries to ask again, but Doyoung doesn’t seem to need an answer, because Doyoung gives a short laugh and looks to something in the distance.

“There’s the rest of our party. Hold onto me, yeah?”

Doyoung pushes them both to stand up--much to the protest of Jaehyuk, as the room is still spinning and he’s starting to shiver despite the sickening layers of heat around them--and Jihoon steps into their clearing once again, Yedam trailing right behind him.

Jihoon looks like he bit a particularly sour lemon. “Asahi is coming, then? How far out is he?”

Yedam rests a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder, his winged liner smeared slightly, giving him an smokey eye that pronounces his words despite the haze Jaehyuk’s slowly becoming accustomed to. “He’s the only one here who has a car-”

“I have a car.” Jihoon answers shortly.

“None of us should be driving right now, calling Asahi was our best option.”

Jihoon slouches back into Yedam and sighs, loosely intertwining their fingers, glancing briefly at Jaehyuk who is still heavily leaning on Doyoung, and Jihoon leans close to Yedam’s ear. “I don’t know if I want Asahi around him right now.”

“I don’t think that’s our decision to make.”

Jihoon presses a brief kiss to Yedam’s palm and sighs, “I know, I just don’t like seeing him so miserable. He keeps telling me he’s fine, but- well, I know Hyuk, and he’s clearly _not_ fine.”

Yedam nods over to where Doyoung and Jaehyuk remain standing, with Jaehyuk blinking rapidly and Doyoung looking on amusedly at Jaehyuk’s attempts to sober up. “We’ve got him, and Asahi does too, but I get it- and I won’t deny you have a right to be worried.”

Jihoon just shrugs in acceptance as Yedam checks his phone and turns the screen to Jihoon. Jihoon cracks a smile at Yedam’s contact, presumably not updated since he met Asahi.

Asahi (greenhouse 3b): I’m around the back, coming in.

“Fine, just let Asahi know where Jaehyuk is. I want to say bye to Byounggon, you coming?”

Yedam goes to follow Jihoon back through the crowd, briefly filling Doyoung in, and Doyoung keeps his eyes peeled for any sight of Asahi; the club is murky, but Doyoung can make out certain figures; one particular one comes closer, their faint outline drawing near, and Doyoung raises his hand up and frantically waves.

Asahi’s lazy nightwear is a stark contrast to the spectacle of flashing lights and muted shades of their surroundings, and Asahi gestures to Jaehyuk, who’s still being propped up against Doyoung’s hip; Asahi’s face comes into the clearing, not entirely shrouded in shadow, but enough to hide the expression on his face, but his voice is gentle.

“There you guys are, give me a hand, will you?” Asahi nudges Doyoung slightly, and puts his own arm around Jaehyuk, intending to free Jaehyuk from Doyoung’s hold. From being slightly jostled, Jaehyuk’s eyes slowly blink open, and he immediately tenses against Doyoung, becoming aware of Asahi in his peripheral vision.

Faced with Jaehyuk’s peering eyes, hazy from whatever Jaehyuk has been drinking that night, Asahi holds his breath, and Jaehyuk whispers out a small, far too timid, “ _Asahi?_ ”.

Asahi offers a weak smile, and offers an equally tentative, “Yeah, I’m here to get you home, okay?”

The change in Jaehyuk’s demeanor happens in an instant--far too quick for Asahi to comprehend--because it only takes a moment for Jaehyuk to reach forward, all but falling into Asahi, as Doyoung makes a startled noise from where he is jolted from Jaehyuk’s side. The straining bar lights do nothing to make this situation clear, and the more Jaehyuk tries to forget Asahi’s turned back--only a few days before, but the memory is fresh in it’s hurt--the more his eyes burn in their attempt to not blur tears in Asahi’s shoulder, who has him gently wrapped in a hold that is both grounding him softly and firmly all at once, and it’s in this hold that Jaehyuk allows himself to cling onto Asahi, even if little makes sense at the moment.

“I’ll leave him with you then, I’ll find the others.” Doyoung’s voice is quiet, drifting somewhere beyond Jaehyuk’s senses, and Jaehyuk reaches out blindly to tug at his friend, to thank him or offer any sort of recognition, but Asahi’s grip keeps him steady, and Jaehyuk all but melts back into the hold. Jaehyuk thinks he hears a distant affirmation to Doyoung from Asahi, but he can’t be sure.

“Hey,” Asahi’s voice floats by Jaehyuk’s ear, “let’s get you outside.”

Jaehyuk can’t be sure how long it takes to weave among the crowd--it’s been an hour since his last drink, but he’s missing a few moments of the night, so time has no real relevance anymore--but as they step out onto the side pavement, settling down momentarily on the curbside just outside where they exited, Jaehyuk can breathe properly for the first time since entering the club.

Jaehyuk slumps against Asahi, turning into Asahi’s collar to breathe in a strong peppermint, and whines when Asahi tries to press a water bottle into his hands.

“I don’t want it.”

“Please?” Asahi tries; apparently that was all the convincing Jaehyuk needed, because Jaehyuk harmlessly grumbles and grabs the water bottle, fumbling the cap a few times but eventually downing half of it; Asahi pulls out his phone and quickly types out a message, and Jaehyuk arches up to peer at the screen.

“Just texting Yedam, I’m telling him to meet us at the car.”

“You’re coming over?” Jaehyuk’s voice is too hopeful, and Asahi drops his phone into his lap and can’t quite meet Jaehyuk’s eyes.

“I’ll see.” Asahi knows not to try and explain himself right now, because while the midnight chill might be doing some good for Jaehyuk’s clarity, Asahi’s not about to upset Jaehyuk in such a state. He doesn’t think he can handle a teary-eyed Jaehyuk; he can barely handle Jaehyuk’s glittering eyeshadow in the pale glow of a dimly lit street light; Jihoon deserves all the credit he touts for: Jaehyuk’s dewy eyes are _beautiful_.

His ears flushing red, Asahi quickly holds two fingers close to Jaehyuk’s eyes. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Sahi, I’m fine.”

“How many.”

Jaehyuk exaggerates a head tilt and reaches to clasp Asahi’s outstretched hand, but before he can prove that everything’s stopped spinning, Jaehyuk feels a pressure to his left shoulder, and he looks up startled. A familiar face peers at both Asahi and Jaehyuk on the curbside and taps on Jaehyuk’s shoulder once more.

Jaehyuk makes a noise of recognition, and turns to face the stranger in the bar who had handed him off to Jihoon only an hour prior. He gets a clear visual of the man now, far from the strobed lighting of the bar, and the stranger’s handsome face is twisted in worry. Jaehyuk shifts a bit closer to Asahi, who curls his arm around Jaehyuk’s shoulder and looks up at the man, eyes narrowed.

“You can get going now.” Asahi’s blunt, and Jaehyuk turns to Asahi in surprise.

The stranger raises his hands in admission and backs up a bit, but keeps his eyes trained on Jaehyuk. Asahi follows the man’s eyes with his own and exhales low under his breath, his eyes steel and grip around Jaehyuk even tighter. Jaehyuk winces a bit at the pressure of Asahi’s hold.

“I’m just here to-” The man looks at Jaehyuk, and drops his hands. “Listen, are you okay?”

Jaehyuk blinks. “Sorry?”

“He- this isn’t who I left you with earlier. Do you know this man?’

 _Ah._ Jaehyuk relaxes a bit, and recognizes the man’s intent. He raises his head a bit. “Yeah, I know Asahi-” Asahi makes a noise at having his name given out without permission, and Jaehyuk backtracks quickly. “-shit, sorry. But I’m okay, thanks for earlier, and not just leaving me.” Jaehyuk trails off, not sure how to address the man properly.

“It’s Seokhwa,” the man offers a tip-lipped smile at Asahi, “and good, then. Goodnight, Jaehyuk.”

Jaehyuk’s about to ask _how_ Seokhwa could possibly know who he was, but Seokhwa just shrugs. “Hard to forget a face like yours. And, your friend said your name earlier, so.” The man steps back onto the pavement, and looks back to where his friends have started waving in his direction. Seokhwa nods once more before turning to leave, and Jaehyuk offers a grateful smile, raising a hand in farewell.

Asahi remains wrapped around Jaehyuk for a moment, exhaling to evening out his breath, and then slowly retracts himself from Jaehyuk’s shoulder, smoothening the cuffs of his night wear and standing up.

“Let’s go then.”

“What?”

“We’re going to my car.”

Jaehyuk nods, a bit disoriented by Asahi’s sudden request, but reaches out for Asahi to pull him up and support his weight as they cross the parking lot. The car isn’t far, and Jaehyuk slumps against the outside of the passenger door as Asahi manually goes to unlock his own side. Uncomfortable with the car handle digging into his lower back, Jaehyuk turns to press his forehead to the cool glass, a bit chilled from the night, and sighs a fog into the window; he waits for the faint unlock _click_ of the car before hastily pulling the door open to slump into the passenger seat, knee awkwardly pressed against the stick shift and neck craned at an odd angle against the plush of the seat.

They’re quiet for a moment, a little too long of a moment, and Jaehyuk feels a fresh flutter of uneasy butterflies in the pit of his stomach, and it’s no longer from the alcohol. Asahi remains silent, not speaking as they neared the car, and he’s not speaking now as they sit side-by-side. Asahi’s grip on the steering wheel is tight, face twisted slightly as he bites down on his bottom lip, and Jaehyuk’s unease only grows.

“That guy, did you know him?”

Jaehyuk blanks; _that’s_ what Asahi cares about? Jaehyuk has a slight urge to pull his own hair.

“No? He didn’t even know my name, how could I have known him? He just came over.”

“Did he try and hand you a drink earlier?”

“Sahi, he did _nothing_. I saw him for like, a few minutes inside. I just danced with him-” Jaehyuk falters at Asahi’s face, and switches course, “-he just waited until Jihoon found me and left. I wasn’t doing anything, least of all something to screw up the night.”

Asahi glances quickly at Jaehyuk, but it’s too quick for Jaehyuk to catch his eye, before dropping his gaze back down to the steering wheel. “I know you’re careful, it’s not you I’m ever worried about.”

“Then what is this about?”

“I don’t know.”

Jaehyuk has no response to that, so he says nothing, and shifts his knee into a more comfortable position and waits, growing slightly impatient. For what, he doesn’t know, but he’s frustrated, and Asahi _still_ won’t look at him.

“Jaehyuk?”

Asahi’s voice is quiet, barely above the hum of night around them, and Jaehyuk leans in to catch what he’s saying. In hindsight, Jaehyuk would have gladly chosen to miss what Asahi had to say, because while Jaehyuk’s been desperate for a promise of clarity, in this moment, Asahi’s is just making him _sad_.

“Is _he_ what you were looking for?” Asahi whispers, and Jaehyuk’s resolve horribly shatters.

As Asahi’s jaw clenches before him, Jaehyuk’s head veers backward, narrowly missing the window behind him, and he allows himself to feel a flash of hurt, because Asahi is just not _understanding_ ; in that moment, Jaehyuk _needs_ to make him understand, has to let Asahi recognize the space he’s taken up in Jaehyuk’s life, so his hands gesture at nothing, his mind on autopilot, remembering too many moments he let slip away, before he lets out a broken-

“Asahi, who else could I have wanted in that fucking bar but _you_.”

It isn’t the confession he had planned; it’s not the way he would have ever crafted those words, heavy on his tongue but laced with venom, but his head is heavy, dull thudding, and his heart just _hurts._

He doesn’t understand much of why Asahi keeps pulling away, keeps giving flimsy excuses or apologetic glances when Jaehyuk tries to flag him down to study or share a cup of coffee, but Jaehyuk won’t let go, not just yet. He wants a sign, anything from Asahi that will soothe the bundle of nerves that Jaehyuk’s has started feeling around his friend, anything that would remind him that _yes_ , Asahi cares for him, and _yes_ , Asahi wants him around, and maybe a _yes_ , Asahi might feel even a fraction the same of what Jaehyuk does, something fragile and gentle and piercing and comforting wrapped into one, something that feels a bit like lov-

“Jaehyuk.”

It takes everything in Jaehyuk to raise his eyes enough to level Asahi’s chin, but he refuses to look any higher, because he’s going to see something he’d rather not, and the last place he wants to fall apart is in the passenger seat of Asahi’s car.

So he remains silent.

“Hyuk, _please_ look at me?”

Jaehyuk’s wonders why he even tries to deceive himself, because he was always going to give into Asahi’s gentle plea, so he dares to raise his eyes, hand tightening on the edge of his knees, and the stillness of the night poses a terrible counter to the rush of blood in Jaehyuk’s ears, and Jaehyuk only vaguely acknowledges that it’s his own heartbeat.

 _Oh,_ is all Jaehyuk can manage, because before him, Asahi’s eyes shine with something so _fond_ , and Jaehyuk’s chest tightens; this time the butterflies in his stomach settle down to rest atop gently swaying branches, and Jaehyuk allows himself one breathe. Another. A warm palm presses itself against the curve of Jaehyuk’s cheek, and Jaehyuk has his lip between his teeth, nibbling ever slightly before releasing and turning his cheek further into Asahi’s hold, and it’s quiet for a moment; Jaehyuk doesn’t need a response, at least in this moment, because Asahi’s crossed into the space between them, just behind the cup holder as their only divide, and it’s in the way that Asahi doesn’t say one word but somehow holds Jaehyuk like he’s someone _precious_. Asahi’s eyes dart across Jaehyuk’s face, searching for any sign of unwillingness, but Jaehyuk’s tongue darts out nervously to swipe at his own chapped lips, and Asahi follows this movement, his eyes finally settling on the plush of Jaehyuk’s lips.

Asahi just sits there, not moving, not doing anything more than just _staring_ , and Jaehyuk’s resolve snaps like thin wire.

Jaehyuk doesn’t know who moves first, but it doesn’t matter, because one moment Asahi’s other hand is enveloped in his own, Asahi’s own touch gentle against the rise of Jaehyuk’s cheek, and in the next moment they fill the space between them, Asahi pulling in a sharp breath as everything is suddenly crowded with _Jaehyuk_.

It isn’t at all the tentative press that Jaehyuk had imagined in the past; it isn’t the kiss he thought he’d receive, maybe when they’re hunched over Asahi’s coffee table on a Friday night, when the other leans in close, shy and sweet, something too tender under the artificial light of a late evening; instead, something _desperate_ hangs in the air between them, and Asahi is clamoring over the middle part of his car to settle beside Jaehyuk’s thigh, not quite on top but close enough to share heat, not breaking the kiss but just missing to instead press his lips against the corners of Jaehyuk’s mouth a few times, but Jaehyuk’s hands messily card through Asahi’s hair, tugging slightly to bring Asahi closer, and they realign.

Jaehyuk realizes he’s still got his seatbelt tucked across his body, and hastily goes to unclick the lock, pulling back from Asahi in frustration, and Asahi’s laugh is kind and harsh with the way his breath is ragged in surprise. Jaehyuk turns back, noting the way Asahi’s lips are redder than Jaehyuk thinks he’s ever seen, and Jaehyuk immediately presses back in, reveling in the surprised noise Asahi makes, before he all but melts into Asahi, kissing him languidly.

“Wait, we need to talk-” Asahi’s voice breaks as Jaehyuk nips along the juncture of his neck, his resolve breaking as Jaehyuk’s whine is high in the back of his throat, Asahi’s shallow breath hitching with every warm kiss Jaehyuk tracks along his skin. Asahi’s own responses do nothing to convey his initial intent to just talk _anything_ through before they get lost in each other. Jaehyuk’s nonsensical at this point, murmuring vaguely coherent muses of ‘ _beautiful’_ and _‘wanted this for so long’_ into the shell of Asahi’s ear, and Asahi wants him to _never_ stop talking.

Every one of his senses is flooded and focused on Jaehyuk, and Asahi wants to press forward and initiate another kiss, a desperate, bruising kiss he’s been keeping to himself for fear to shying Jaehyuk away, but he knows there’s too many unspoken words between them, and he needs to end this before he ruins anything; he needs to steel himself before he loses what could come of this.

“Jaehyuk, _listen_.”

Asahi pulls back slightly, hands on Jaehyuk’s shoulders, keeping the boy at a distance that isn’t too far but allows Asahi himself to just breath for several seconds, already overwhelmed with one of Jaehyuk’s hands pressing into Asahi’s lower thigh, the other hand curling warm just at Asahi’s hip.

“Talk,” Asahi breathes out, attempting to steady his voice, “we really, _really_ need to talk about this.”

“Later.” Jaehyuk goes to press back in, and Asahi huffs a laugh, but keeps his grip steady against Jaehyuk’s shoulders.

“Trust me, you’ll want to talk-” Asahi is cut off by Jaehyuk slumping into him, knocking his hands aside. He decides to instead settle them on Jaehyuk’s waist, steadying both of them, and waits for Jaehyuk to say something.

“I know, we should talk, but I just- I’ve wanted this for so long, so could we just-” Jaehyuk pulls back and looks at Asahi, eye’s crinkled in a tenderness that leaves Asahi breathless. “-just for a little, could you hold me?”

Asahi nods, not trusting himself to speak, and slowly leans in, giving Jaehyuk the time to refuse if he chooses so. Despite the whirlwind confession and the distant hum of cars brushing past Asahi’s own, Jaehyuk presses in again, his lips once the sickly sweet of alcohol, now chapped but warm, and Asahi feels everything slow down, if just for a moment. He brings his hands up to cradle Jaehyuk’s face, thumb brushing the crease just near Jaehyuk’s eye, and he sighs into the kiss, eliciting a pleased hum from Jaehyuk in turn.

It’s over too soon after it’s begun, but Jaehyuk murmurs a soft ‘ _cute’_ that shouldn’t affect Asahi to the extent it does, and as they lean against each other, not expecting anything more, everything stills for a moment.

Jaehyuk’s been half-asleep for several minutes, with Asahi cradled in his chest, when a gentle rapping on the window draws him to look up drowsily, and Doyoung’s face comically presses against the glass. Asahi grumbles and rolls the window down.

“Time to go home, sleepyheads.” Doyoung's voice is too bright for the night nearing 2am, and Jaehyuk shakes his head, slipping further into the seat. Asahi readjusts and lazily drapes a hand across Jaehyuk.

A new voice pops up, “Asahi, you might want to wake up, Yedam’s going to need that ride home. I’m taking my roommate with me, so up you both go.” Jihoon reaches into the window to jokingly swat at Jaehyuk’s head, and Yedam slips into the backseat, curling around the passenger headrest and poking the top of Jaehyuk’s head in an attempt to wake him.

“Let me sleep.” Jaehyuk muffles, his chin dipping in exhaustion. He must be far more tired than he realizes, because he hardly registers that Asahi’s weight on his chest disappears, and Jaehyuk whines, reaching out to pull him back in.

“They’re right, I’ll take Yedam home, go with Doyoung and Jihoon.” Asahi apologetically reasons, and Doyoung sheepishly adds, “I need to walk this off, so we’re walking home Jaehyuk, my bad.”

Jaehyuk cracks an eye open, and meets Asahi’s eyes with a bit of hesitance, but he’s close to crashing from sleep, and any embarrassment will be saved for the next morning. “You wanted to talk, though.”

“Let Jihoon take you home, I promise we can talk soon.”

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

Jaehyuk never gets his response, whether it be verbal or not from Asahi, because the next minute Doyoung is wrapping him securely against his smaller frame, and gently leading Jaehyuk from the car onto the darkened street with a soft _let’s go, let’s get you home_.

“Jaehyuk.” Asahi’s voice calls out through the gentle breeze of the night.

Jaehyuk thinks he’d go back if he was more awake, but he doesn’t fully turn back around; Doyoung’s hold around his waist is comforting and Jihoon’s gentle press against his back is grounding, and Jaehyuk allows himself this comfort. He instead glances back, a half-twist of his body, leaning heavily on Doyoung but managing to angle himself at Asahi.

Asahi’s gaze is gentle, clear even through the distance.

“Get home safe.”

And Jaehyuk does.

No sooner than he’s reached home, Doyoung slumps on the couch for the night, but not before giving Jaehyuk a quick squeeze of comfort and a tall glass of water. Jihoon is uncharacteristically quiet for being the one mostly sober, and gently leads Jaehyuk down the hall, hand clasped with his friend and mouth set in a fine, slightly tense line. Jaehyuk thinks Jihoon might be frustrated, and goes to whisper an _I’m sorry_ against Jihoon's shoulder from where Jihoon has settled in beside Jaehyuk between the covers of someone's bed--reminiscent of childhood sleepovers and comforting holds when the expanse of night got a bit too animated for Jihoon or Jaehyuk to handle alone--but the way Jihoon turns to hold Jaehyuk fiercely, with all the love only a childhood friend can gift another, with Jaehyuk’s fingers intertwined and head on Jihoon’s chest, it's close to where Jihoon’s heart can lull Jaehyuk to sleep.

The crickets must be quiet that night, because Jaehyuk falls asleep only to the gentle white noise of his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some notes: jaehyuk is mostly sober but aware of his decisions by the time they get to the car (i did my best to express this!! i hope it came thru clearly), because aware consent is extremely important here ♡
> 
> also i really just said bye to the slow burn lmao,, well ♡ thank u for reading as always
> 
> and a lil special mid-story thank u to d, amethyst, and L*** (i didnt wanna give out ur full name, but i hope u know who u are haha) for being so sweet and wonderful to me always ♡ ♡ ♡

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/izayashu)


End file.
